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Hi-
I'm also white woman who has dated a few Asians before. There are so few WF/AM relationships to look towards as examples. Thus it is difficult to extrapolate large trends or patterns in such pairings.
Nonetheless, I've been in a relatively similar position before. FWIW, you can find many stories online of heartbroken white women who dated Indian men until the guys went on a trip back to India and returned married to wives the parents had picked out.
I dare say, a good number of Asian men simply don't have the balls to stand up to their parents. The whole "white women are slutty and unsuitable wife material" seems to be a recurring theme.
Well, if we are "too slutty" for them, then they are spineless, unchivalrous jerks not worthy of us.
I agree 100% with Cary's advice. Give him a week to make up his mind. If he can't pick you over mommy + daddy, get rid of him immediately. You deserve a man that loves you enough to stand up for you, not a little boy hiding in the form of a 40 y.o.
My sympathies are with you, darling.