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Wednesday, February 7, 2007 12:00 AM

From dating an Asian man to living with him: Parents still don't know

I'm a white woman in my 40s. His parents don't approve of me. Am I just insecure?
By Cary Tennis

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  • Wednesday, February 7, 2007 05:26 AM

    Been There

    My Asian boyfriend was consumed with guilt over our relationship. He felt like he was literally killing his parents by being with me.

    His own parents had a terrible marriage, so his mom was convinced she needed grandchildren to be happy. It didn't matter to her whether her son was happy in his relationship as long as she had the grandbabies. That's tradition.

    Cary's right -- it's up to him to decide which relationship is more important to him. He'll string you along indefinitely unless he's forced to decide.

    Some traditions need adjusting. We're all ultimately responsible for our own happiness.

    —shanti Read shanti's other letters

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