this is not about the house. The poor house is just a scapegoat for something else. You're blaming the house for deeper fears and problems. Figure out what they are and the house fears will go away. Stop spending lots of money and a lot of those problems will go away.

Grow the fuk up. Oh, you're 35? Nevermind.

Typical American melodrama.

Think 'homeless' and be thankful that you own a house and earn American dollars to pay it off.

Think 'global' (we know that's tough for US of A) and imagine how many people in the rest of the world have no roof over their heads, let alone a house.

Stop whining Generation X, and get on with life. For inspiration, contact a Baby Boomer.

Gogga

Remember this about owning a condo vs. a house. If you own a condo, your mortgage will end one day and you'll "own" your home, but your condo fees will go up and up and up, and let's not even talk about those "special assessments" of $20,000 payable over two years to redo all the windows in the building or replace the aging elevator. If you own a house, at least you can mostly decide when to redo certain things - windows, a leaky roof, the deck that's rotting away. In a condo, you have very little say once the Board has made a decision.

I totally agree with Pewella about the Cult of Houses, and I have been a happy renter for more 20 years in three different cities. It helped that I had great deals and that to me the place where I live -- location, layout, amenities -- is far more important than owning, repairing, and decorating "a home of my own." But I do understand that many people not only want to but should own their own homes, if only for the security of not being thrown out when you're 75 -- that is, if at that age you can still afford the property taxes and basic upkeep that your house will need.

As for the mortgage interest deduction -- sure, it's great. But am I the only person who has heard it proposed that this deduction be abolished? Nah, it won't ever happen, but that would sure do away with one of the big benefits of buying a house.

It's not a "one size fits all" situation. If you have enough money, you don't have to "invest" in owning a house. If, as I will, you are going to inherit one or more houses that you'd be happy to live in (or sell) when you get older, then why worry about buying a house that you know you won't need for shelter in your old age. If I bought the kind of house I'd want now, I'd have to live 10 miles outside the city and commute, which would never be worth it to me. I live in the heart of a vibrant city in a fabulous, well-renovated rental apartment. I get all the benefits of not having to worry about repairs and upkeep, and none of the hassle of home decorating -- I have no real desire to paint my walls various colors or re-do a bathroom. The place is not your "standard rental unit", so it has many interesting and expensive features. When I moved in, I got all-new beautiful appliances. So what if I signed a one-year lease? I know that I will live in it for another year and I can relax. If I get laid off or transferred, I can break the lease. If you decide to sell your house, you don't sell it the next day. It could take months or even a year, and you have all the worry until it does. Some people want all the joys of home ownership, but to me there are many equal or better joys in renting.

You've done something big - my suggestion is to give yourself time to settle into it. Like new parenthood it changes (at least somewhat) not only your circumstances but your financial and physical life. The surprises (stuff breaks/leaks/shorts out) are daunting and might seem overwhelming, too. But, unlike parenthood, which is forever, you really CAN reverse this situation if, after, say, a year, you still don't want it. Also - consider that the old house/ fixer-upper, while the stuff of so many romantic articles and TV shows, might be for you a headache and a money pit, pure and simple. Do you and your partner enjoy do-it-yourself projects? Some do and some don't. If you do not, a different house may well make sense for you. You DO have options. Learn from this (no matter what you eventually decide to do) and good luck.

too much Cary, because I could swear that back in 2000 (2001?) he was doing a column about his "first" house purchase. He was renting in San Francisco, and he decided to buy the house rather than move when the owner wanted to sell it, but when he started talking to a realtor he decided to start shopping around instead. Was this a different Cary Tennis who writes for Salon? This stands out in my mind, not because Cary had absolutely anything unique or particulary useful to say about the topic; it just struck me as incredibly odd that a man in his 50s(?) would be tacklng a problem I had worked through at 24. It made me realize just how silly a certain kind of boomer can be. So, where's the disconnect? Does anyone else remember this? Cary, are you making shit up? I know you moonlight as a fiction writer, but doesn't this kind of ruse strike you as slightly unethical? Good writers understand the contract between themselves and their readers. Isn't presenting something as true which is obviously fiction a breach of that contract? Am I being silly? Am I falsely attrbuting a column to you that was written by someone else? Hmmmm.

...I think you're attacking the wrong person, because none of the your hysterics apply to what I wrote. I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about other than you sound like one pissed-off real-a-tor who jumped on the agent craze right at the peak. talk about get-rich-quick delusions.

http://letters.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2007/01/26/house/permalink/7c3a9c1a324ad42677813fe454844982.html