Letters to the Editor
-
confusing
I like Cary's advice, a lot, but I find the situation described very confusing, and many of the letters even more confusing.
The writer seems to say that his friend was going to auction an item on-line. He bought the item and shipped it to Japan, apparently at a cost of $1000, and things went "wrong," but his friend never gave him a very satisfactory story. He does say that his firend in the past had said he would pay him the $1000. There is too much left to the imagination here. For instance, is the friend unable to explain where the items currently is? Did he send it so some on-line buyer and not get paid, or did he end up keeping an item not useful to furthering a profitable business venture, but still worth $1000. Business, friend, or whatever, I would be pretty annoyed if I could get a straight answer out of the guy as to what happened. If this is the case--that is, I logically all I can conclude is that Japan guy is intentionaly trying to deceive me to justify keeping my money--I agree with the letters that say this is a relatively inexpensive lesson in life, or at least as to this particular fellow. This guy is neither a worthwhile friend, nor a worthwhile business partner. Let it all go.
Many of the letters seem to assume, even though Japan guy said he would send the money, that this was a business deal where the writer knew that his investment was at risk and so he should not be whining now and expecting the Japan guy to pay the dollars. But I did not get that out of the writer's letter. Also, the concept that the guy is embarassed that the deal went bad, suggests that he screwed up in an area he was responsible for, and thus in a business sense would be expected to take responsibility for the loss. If Japan guy is saying "I do not owe you the money, because it was a business deal that we were both taking known risks on, and we lost," and I as the writer think differently for some reason, then it is a different scenario from the he is lying to me or dissemblin scenario. I disagree with certain good friends and good business partners about lots of things, and I do not dump either because of that, if i think they are sincere in thinking differently about something than I do. Adults recognize that misunderstandings and legit differences of opinion are the nature of the beast, whether friendship or business. To think otherwise is to "rail against reality" and to be grandiose and perfectionistic. Besides, it is only $1000.
That is why I think Cary's inventory is brilliant. That is, if I conclude it is my internal stuff that is really what is getting me down about this situation, and clouding my understanding and judgement, then I have really learned something worth more than $1000.