Letters to the Editor
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9 for 1 record...
That's my stats, between 2000 and about 2005... nine rounds of layoffs dodged, one hit. At two different (slowly dying) companies. Neither way is fun, altough losing my job sucked, watching my friends lose theirs while I kept mine sucked even worse. It's hard to explain until it happens, but it's true. Every single one of those rounds made me realize how much corporations Do Not Care About You. Not about me, not about anyone else. We are all expenses, blips on somebody's spreadsheet somewhere. Some rounds felt logical and justified, some felt like a random drive-by shooting. They all hurt in a way that is indescribable. One day you come to work, and one by one your co workers get called off to "meetings" and their things get mailed home in a box.
All that bullshit you hear in the quarterly meetings about "we're all family" and "we care about our employees most of all" is pure hot air that you can take with you to the unemployment line.
Run, don't walk, to the nearest exit. Chances are, they're expecting you to at some time or another if the business is failing. Job hunting while you're still employed (even at a dying company) gives you a position of power... you can afford to be somewhat choosy and find a place you want to land, not just anywhere that offers insurance.
Run.
Don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out.
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Loyalty is not just staying
I am a product of our crazy capitalist system and so I say: unless your boss is going to let you move in with him when you (and he) cannot pay rent any more, you really do have to put your needs above the needs of the company.
But having said that, I also say that loyalty is not just about whether you stay; it's about leaving in a way that doesn't torpedo the company. So give plenty of notice; document what you do as well as possible and train those around you; be cheerful and generous; answer your phone after you leave (unless it would be inappropriate to do so, like you're now directly competing). Write letters of reference for those under you and thank you letters to everyone. Invite your boss out for dinner a few weeks after you've left and pay the bill.
All that is a part of being professional too.
And if their reaction is poor and they want to beat you into the ground because you dare leave! When they do not! - then they really weren't loyal to you, but to your loyalty alone.
Good luck!
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Re: Sad Admin
Dear Sad Admin, I believe you are a treasure. :)
That said, I have to be unpleasant and tell you very, very nicely that people who begrudge you a better oportunity with more money and even benefits in the field you desire, and go so far as to make you pay emotionally with their bad behavior for your "desertion" and "betrayal" (you did neither) are Not. Your. Friends.
I don't doubt they were good to you in the past. But in the business world, once your personal usefulness is gone (as it was for you when you tendered your resignation) the real feelings come out. I hate to say it because you're obviously a sweetheart, but your situation is EXACTLY what these other letter writers are talking about when they say the "we are family" line and other corporate warm feelies are hot air you can take all the way to the unemployment line. And though you could have given them warning, I doubt very much if that would have made a difference; in fact, I think it would have only started their bad behavior sooner. Not everyone you will ever work for is that way, but it's very, very common.
The reason I bothered to write is because I'd like to give you some hard earned advice, Sad Admin, that you may feel free to take or leave. It is this: you only get to be 21 once in your life, and it's a glorious time. Your self-reproach and hand wringing over these very selfish people (who as attorneys, I *guarantee* you, know EXACTLY what they are doing: trying to guilt you into staying without addressing the reality of your financial situation) are wasted energy.
Now me, I'm no longer 21; I'm a hard-bitten 40, and I would not take this at all. After having surreptitiously removed any personal items I cared about from the office, I would stand straight up, put on my professional, gracious but firm attitude, march straight into head honcho's office, and say the following: "Hey, you got a minute? Great. Look, I just wanted to be frank with you and tell you that while I was very careful to give you two weeks notice, because I appreciate the kindness you have shown me in the past, I have to say that I can't take any more of this abusive behavior from you and your partners. You begrudge my leaving, but have offered me nothing better, and you don't seem to understand that my circumstances leave me NO CHOICE. Because you and your partners have decided to use my two week notice to make my life a living hell, I want you to understand that I am withdrawing said notice and leaving now. Thank you for everything you've done for me. Goodbye."
And then I would turn on my professional heel, march out (skipping entirely the inevitable lecture / bully session) and go be 21, preferably on the beach. :) Brightly yell, "Bye!!" to everyone else as you march out the door, smiling. No need for any more puking by the side of the road.
And quite frankly, that's better than they deserve.
Best wishes to you, Sad Admin!
P.S. Add me to the list of folks who think LW should leave, preferably taking him with to the new company... he'll need somewhere to land when it all falls apart.
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I absolutely disagree with this advice!
Though I respect where Cary is coming from, I think there are important distinctions here: you were hired to do a specific job, and you have not yet completed it. Good karma in the business world should never be underestimated.
If you really, really must leave...at least talk to him about it first. Tell him you are in a quandary, and if he is the amazing person you describe him as, won't he understand to some degree, and maybe even let you off the hook? Then you good go merrily about your way in good conscience.