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From what I've seen, being a parent whether by birth, adoption, insemination, or immaculate always seems to involve interference and complications. Try having four social workers looking over your shoulder while your parents question your every decision, siblings wonder just how crazy you are to have become a parent in the first place, the landlord is trying to evict you since the kids aren't white, your friends have absolutely no time for the guy who can't go out without arranging for a sitter and four birth parents are always hovering somewhere overhead. I have two adopted sons, both have always been in contact with their birth parents, and yeah, sometimes it's a pain in the rear. On the other hand, both my kids love their birth parents very much and they play an important role in their lives. I'm glad they're around.
I have to say that I'm with chirugby, though - Lesbian parenting is hardly a pioneering experience. I'm not sure that I know any lesbians who don't have kids. I'm a gay male who's been a parent for 15 years and it wasn't exactly a unique experience in 1992. When I first started thinking about adopting kids I went to a Gay Fathers support group in 1980. This has been going on for a long time - there's even rumours about my grandfather! I know there are support groups for gay and lesbian parents where this issue has been hashed out again and again. But I'd come down on the side of having an actively participating father. The kid will appreciate it and the dad will love it. And besides, do you know how expensive it is to be a parent? Medical expenses? College? Car insurance? Clothing? Hell, I'd want Dad around just to help with the expenses!
