Letters to the Editor
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The spirit of Santa...
When I was distressed to learn (through an insensitive teacher) that Santa did not literally exist, I was crushed because it meant that a bit of magic had just been drained from the world. My bookish parents then comforted me by explaining that the *spirit* of Santa existed and was acted out by people all over the world...and that this was a form of magic in itself. In many cultures, human beings have rituals in which they take on the spirits of various gods, nature spirits, animals and magical beings. The masked dancers of the Hopi tribe, for instance, become the sacred kachinas for the length of the dance; it would be both insulting and sacriligious to say they are merely men and women wearing masks and pretending. There is a phrase for this in masked rituals around the world: "I am me and also I am not me" -- meaning one is still a human being, but also, at the same time, filled with another spirit. In this sense, my parents explained to me (in language suitable for an eight year old), the magic of Santa Claus truly did exist, for many people around the world embodied his spirit at Christmas time as they enacted his magical rituals: filling stockings, leaving presents under trees, etc. Santa as a single living, breathing entity might not exist (and as an eight year old, I was already wondering how the heck one Santa could get down all those chimneys in a single night...), but his magic existed...and that as a big girl of eight years old, I was now old enough to understand the difference. This gentle explanation softened the blow -- and makes me smile to this day.
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I wonder
if this girl also believes in Black Pete. Santa's elf helper who ties up bad little children in burlap sacks and beats them with a bundle reeds. LOL.
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Fairy Tales
As long as most adults all over the world believe in the unproved fairy tale of Jesus, heaven, hell, etc. what does it matter if this child still believes in Santa? If this child already knows the meaning of Christmas, just work Santa into the story. Explain the good and bad, and faith and prayer stuff. Compare the Santa and Jesus stories. At the end, up the annty.
Maybe something like this . . .
Sometimes children talk to and write to Santa and then have faith that Santa will answer them. Plus Santa will know if they were bad or good. No one knows how Santa knows what he knows, you just need to have faith. If you were good you might get some presents on Jesus' birthday, delivered by Jesus' ELF, Santa. However, if your family is poor you might not get anything even if you were good. No one knows how Santa knows how much money everyone has but he knows. And if you don't have enough money to pay Santa, then Santa just skips you and flies right past your house.
Sometimes people pray and pray and have faith that Jesus will answer them. Plus Jesus will know if they were bad or good. No one knows how Jesus knows what he knows, you just need to have faith. If you were good you might get some presents on Jesus' birthday delivered by Jesus' ELF, Santa. However, if your family is poor you might not get anything.
This is where we up the annty.
If you're not good now or some other time in your life, or poor, Santa just skips you. But Jesus, if you tick off Jesus, as the fairy tale says . . . Jesus just lets you burn. Not only will you not get that ipod, you'll burn in everlasting hell . . . or so I was once told in a "fairy tale".
As adults we almost believe as children.
Keep the faith . . .
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Tell Her, Tell Her Now
Do not let this girl be a thirteen year old who puts her head on the desk and cries. The unreality of Santa comes up a lot in school. Don't let her find out this way. She will be the object of ridicule at the hardest period in anyone's life to face ridicule. And for no good reason. Not because she's "different," not because she's an independent thinker, but because she's still falling for something most kids saw through quite some time ago. And they will use it throughout junior high and maybe even high school. Kids are not kind about these things.
Furthermore, she is, in so many words, asking you "Is Santa real or not?" Tell her. I don't think the "Yes, Virginia" approach really works. Wonderful sentiment for adults, but kids see right through it: "Oh, I see. The answer is 'no' but you think you're being sweet with all the sugar coating."
My guess is the kid is still having a very tough time with her mother's death, and she's holding onto Santa for comfort even while knowing there isn't one. 13 is very late not to have figured it out (if she hasn't), and I don't think this is true just in this day and age.
She obviously needs something to believe in, some idea of goodness and something that brings comfort. That may mean a religion or a commitment to an ideal. Those concepts would be much better suited to her age and mentality than the illusion of Santa. It makes grownups feel condescendingly happy that a child is still so "innocent" it can be fooled and manipulated. It isn't a good state for anyone to be in past 8 or 9, if you ask me. It's a sign of immaturity, not innocence. It's the mental equivalent of sucking a thumb or sleeping with stuffed animals.
Teach her about God, or about helping others, or about social justice and moral goodness. But let Santa Claus go now. It's time.
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What do you mean there is no Santa?
What do you mean there is no Santa? I'm 55 and still believe. I learned in my head there was no Santa at 7 years old when, after my Father died that year, my Sister and I found the stash of prezzies Mum bought and she found out. Santa still came though and every year we got our gifts and treats.
This is about the old beliefs that there is magic and someone who will bring new joy to life. We all need to believe, in this world of horrors, that there is something above us who loves us and wants to see us happy. Santa is tops for that. Love you, Santa. I believe!
Mum died last year and this will be our first real year without SantaMum. My Sister and I are going to still keep the fires going. Maybe, when the time comes, that is truly what you need to say to this lovely girl. Santa is more than a state of mind, it is a state of the heart and belief that each year may be better.
Watch the good Christmas movies - Polar Express, Christmas Story, etc - with her and just drop your disbelief for a while. I'll bet you'll be relieved yourself. Revel in it.
I don't believe in the virgin birth but I love the Nativity story. I dislike the Bible but love Jesus' stories. I grew up at a time all these wonderful fantasies for children were in full bloom and to this day I probably use these stories to pick out the good and bad people say and do. Kids have so few examples of good people now, don't deny them what little is left.
Yesterday was the shortest day. The sun is on the way back. Rejoice!