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Should I tell her -- to save her from the derision of her friends, if nothing else?
  • We've been having a similar discussion in our family...

    My 11-1/2 yr old grandson still believes in Santa. At least, he seems to. When the topic has come up with other kids around who say otherwise, he has said, well, all he knows is that Santa comes to his house. Given other things about him, I'm willing to think he really does believe.

    My daughter thinks it's about time to tell him-- again, so he won't be embarrassed by his peers. But, she's engaged to be married again, and her fiance thinks they should wait. (He doesn't have any children of his own, but is wonderful with my grandson.)

    My daughter wants my partner to tell him the way he told his own kids years ago. Partly, it was desperation, because his then-wife was in the hospital, and he was juggling his job, 3 kids, and hospital visits, not to mention trying to pull off Christmas.

    So, he told the oldest one that there was essentially both good and bad news about Santa. Briefly... that although he's no longer living, Santa set an inspiring example when he was alive and people still try to keep his memory alive by giving gifts at Christmas time. Since he (my partner's son) was now old enough to know the truth, he could help make Christmas happen for his brother and sister by helping with some of the things that needed to be done and were too much for his dad to do without help.

    Eventually, each of the other two heard the same story. And it seemed to work for them at the time.

    I honestly don't know what this LW should do, since I feel similarly torn about someone telling my grandson. But, I thought the example of one way to tell might be helpful... for when the time does come.