"Publicola ... is a female claiming to be a guy"

It figures that someone like you can't fathom the concept that there are guys out there who don't see things the ugly and misogynistic way that you do.

"who enjoys calling people a-holes"

Wrong there too - I'm just calling a spade a spade.

"IN SUMMARY, do what this asshole (1) says and you can marry an asshole like him (2) - now there's a recipe for eternal happiness.

"Anything that filters out cretins like this guy (3) can't be all bad.

"-- Publicola"

So that was, count 'em, 1 - 2 - 3 ad hominem slurs by the Sensitive Nice Guy with the girly screen name.

Way to go, Pubi-Cola!

... the more relieved I am that the opinions expressed herein, despite the most vehement protestations to the contrary by the regulars, do not reflect real life at all, in any way that I've been able to figure out.

I'm a nice woman with a spotty sexual past. I married a nice man with an equally spotty sexual past. We're disease-and-childfree and extremely happy together. Nobody has to be a nasty, evil slut or nothin'. We garden, cook, tend our pets and have mindblowing sex as often as we like, and we're polite and civilized enough to know not to turn over the rocks on the beach.

In the immortal words of Miss Britney Spears, I'm sorry you don't have what we have. Nyah nyah.

Well I'm a woman with an embarrassingly pristine past. Long story but I was raised extreeeeeemely religiously and did not lose my virginity till age 32. I didn't participate in a religion for 20 years, then I went back to it (but a liberal denomination where greed and hate are equally as bad as indulgences of the flesh like, oh, gluttony and drunkenness.)

I have a question for these moral guys. If a woman with a past genuinely underwent a religious conversion and repented of her past and avowed to embark on a repentant path and demonstrated it over several years, would YOU forgive her past, trust her repentance and conversion, or is it really just the animal brain and the "damaged goods" thing?

At least in that strict religious sect, I knew guys who married girls with pasts, who (in that sect) were repentant and disavowed their past ways. I'd rather take my chances with that ultra-strict religious sect that believed in forgiveness than the "reptilian brains" that are operating according to the "damaged goods" principle--because I think that is really what's going on, not a "trust" thing.

NNG, by any chance did you type some of those preceeding posts with one hand?

Anon is obviously experiencing impaired reality testing with attendant paranoia and cannot be expected to hold up an end of a discussion, y'all.

On a different note,,,How does having one threesome at one point in a person's life make him or her a slut? I thought that required a much more extensive resume. And I think it's abundantly obvious that many women had a lot of fun early on and yet married happily when they were ready. If that's not your type of woman, so be it.

Honey, take it from someone twice your years, and enjoying middle age with the man of my childhood, thanks to counseling....

...six months is way past shock and hurt, and far into dominance and control. Your BF needs to leave.

So many others have pointed out the BF courted trouble, placed you in an untenable position, and now somehow magically expects you to be what are not...an image in his mind.

He needs to leave/or you need to kick him out. Honey, you are not an image, an ideal, or stagnate. What went before has only the power that you give it, and rightly, you give it nothing. It happened, you may or may or may not have had a rocklin' good time, but you are making different choices these days. Maturity happens.

The BF's inability to see you for who you are bodes ill for the future. I see nothing in his behavior that is not about control. The past cannot be changed, and we all have regrets, and "guilty" pleasures. If the BF is going to continue refusing counseling and his "slut-shaming," he needs to get out. This is all about hurting you for a past that he wasn't a part of, and no woman needs that.

Tell him to leave.

This is for the person or persons who "found out their girlfriend had 22 partners" ... how on earth did you get that exact count.

1) The girlfriend naively counted them off and told you a number, or

2) You believed scuttlebutt that someone sidled up to you and said.

If #1, the girlfriend is naive and needs to learn to be coy and quit answering that question.

If #2, you should NEVER BELIEVE that kind of talk! Anyone could say anything!

My own grandmother had a guy going around town saying things. She was as pure as the driven snow and some guy about town who was spurned, told untrue tales on her. When I was still a virgin I had some guy call my mother and allege all kinds of sexual things because we were in competition for the same job and he wanted me to drop out of the competition. My mother didn't believe it.

Have people lost the art of sorting out rumors and motivations? Sheesh.

Why does two men/one woman automatically mean anal sex was involved, or happened at the same time as coitus? Maybe I'm clueless, but that just doen't make sense to me.

COuldn't two men one/women mean oral sex and coitus? Or both concentrating on her?

I was in a male dominated TA room (three women, 30 guys), and the guys claimed a two male, one female threesome was more about what was going on between the guys. They "shared" a woman because of some things bordering on homoerotic. There was no expectation she would do anal. Is that a porn thing or something?

We have no details about what went on, but the most vehemently critical posters all seem to reference the "taking two guys on at once" thing. I have to admit, that's not what I thought of, and it's not the experience of the women I've heard of actually doing it. Many women just don't like anal sex. In the Nancy Friday female fantasy book, that was not the vision of a three way presented by her contributors.

Oh, well, my husband says I'm kind of naive about this stuff. I'm not a porn watcher or anything.