I can understand why LW's BF would be a lil sick over knowing that his GF was in a threesome. I wouldn't, but I understand.

What I don't understand is his inability to get over it. I mean, at some point, you weigh the costs and benefits of holding on to that anger against being happy with someone you love. People grow and change. I once had to reconcile that a good friend of mine spent a couple of years being a bully. As someone who was bullied, it was kinda weird for a second. But then you get over it!

I wonder if BF has a history of finding his GFs wanting in some area, then using it to denegrate her. Maybe he has a problem being with women who are his equals. It sounds like the problem isn't just that she had a threesome, but that she hasn't always fallen in line with his rules. I wonder how many unfortunate people, especially women, haven't been able to follow his rules.

The best lesson that LW could teach him is to walk away (maybe like many other women in his past). He needs to learn that sometimes loving all of a person doesn't mean liking everything about them (or their past).

His loss.

are able to do and not having the choice. Regardless of anything else the fact that it is YOUR CHOICE matters. Women seem to grasp this in other contexts pretty well.

As a man, I'd like to apologize for a lot of the childish men on this chain. Are you all still in High School and worried about dating a girl with "Bad Rep". What the fuck do you care what your girlfriend did before you arrived? If she isn't carrying a disease, a baby, or a criminal record it doesn't impact you in the slightest.

I have often told me girlfriend that it isn't men who judge women as sluts, that that is just something women tell each other as part of the billion ways y'all tear each other apart. Now, I'm going to have to go home and tell her I was wrong. There are still "adult" men out there who care about this stuff.

Look people, sex is the way that mammals reproduce. That's it. There is no magic when body parts interlock. Nothing has been "soiled". Who knew the Victorians still held such sway on Salon readers.

And when will you idiots learn that the less judgemental men are about women's sexual freedoms, the more sex we can have with more women. It's as simple as that.

Dear Christ I can't believe we are still having these arguments in 2007 (Almost)

and the fact that men feel the need to apologize for other men to women but women don't feel the need to apologize to men for the obnoxious behavior of women ought to tell anyone with a logical mind that we have yet another rock on the mountain of evidence that men and women are in a different position when it comes to convincing the other gender to regard them positively.

hang around a lot of friends that know all about this and have no qualms about amusing themselves at the boyfriend's expense in regards to this (presumably the actual men involved are not part of their hangout crew, but who knows?) Does that change anything?

Sure, I'll apologize for what I perceive as women's biggest weaknesses in today's society but I have a feeling they are not the same ones you are thinking of:

1) Materialism

2) A certain kind of entitlement. I am not talking about sexual things. I am talking about a couple of things...see "materialism" above, and also, not realizing that without some of the protections men and the structure of society afford, women would be at a lot more physical risk. I think there are whole aspects of life that women do not think about, because the structures their safety hangs on are already in place. To be fair, middle-class women today don't see that many men physically risking their lives, and also to be fair, more and more working-class women do jobs that put their safety at risk, but by and large, middle-class and upper-middle-class women don't see all the physical risk, largely performed by males, that makes their lives cushy and safe. I hear women whine, whine, whine about the color of the decor in the high-end chiropractor and massage office, while working-class men are risking their lives all over the place to keep the electricity on etc. and those same women looking down on those same men, because they don't see their own personal safety and comfort depending on those men in a direct way. again, women now perform more and more of these dangerous jobs too.

3) Emotional weakness. During the Clinton/Lewinsky fiasco I commented to my then-boyfriend, "Is there ANY traditional female foible that DOESN'T come into play in this?" Of course a big traditional male foible came into play, but then there was Linda Tripp, deception, treachery, jealousy, and Monica's coming unglued in so many ways. I am not talking about the sex but the emotional foibles.

4) Financial shenanigans in some divorces even when it is not for the kids. I have seen this. Some entitled women who have never had to make their own living seem to have no idea what it takes or how hard it is. Again, this is not all women, but some who have been entitled, in many cases due to their possessing looks and status that allow them to coast.

5) Marketing and merchandising. Ugh. It's not just a woman thing but it's gone overboard. Some very talented women in marketing and merchandising could be putting their talents to better use as investigative reporters these days.

6) Gossip and backbiting, GUILTY AS CHARGED!!!! I have been called out on it too.

There, I apologized for six female foibles and not one of them was giving in to a moment's sexual weakness and having a one-time, threesome or fling. Anyone can make a mistake. I hold that the same caliber as driving home from the sports bar with a buzz, one time, learning better and never doing it again.