- To Joe, who said, "The only man that will not react this way is either so beaten down and depressed that he thinks he is lucky to have her, and could do no better than her, or a man who has had so much sex with so many women and possibly men that he really gives a rats ass what the woman has done in her own past. They could talk about their exploits and laugh about it. Now there would be a good match for her.":

I can handle being called a slut, but this response made me angry. Because you know what? My boyfriend IS lucky to have me. I'm smart, funny, talented, hot, good in bed, and a loyal girlfriend. My past sex life does not negate that. I am not interested in dating players and people who have no interest in real relationships. I want a man who realizes that often times the "slut" and the "girl you take home" reside within one person. So I would like to extend a big FUCK YOU to you, above all of the other people who questioned my sexual choices.

- To Alex: Could you please write me a manual on appropriate sexual conduct? Hell, while you're at it, could you give me the rules I so desperately need in all areas of my life? Could you let me know what "levels of promiscuity" are acceptable, understandable and forgivable? With all your book-learnin', I'm sure you have so much to teach me. I mean, with the two degrees that I have, I failed to learn that sex is so black and white.

You apparently missed the point of Chasing Amy, so I will cut and paste a quote that sums up the moral that perhaps you SHOULD have taken from that movie.

Silent Bob: [to Holden] So I get weirded out, and just start blasting her, right? This is the only way I can deal with it - by calling her a slut, and telling her that she was used - I mean, I'm out for blood I want to hurt her - because I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling. And I'm like "What the fuck is wrong with you?" and she's telling me that it was that time, in that place, and she didn't do anything wrong, so she's not gonna apologize. So I tell her it's over, and I walk.

Jay: Fucking-A.

Silent Bob: No, idiot. It was a mistake. I wasn't disgusted with her, I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small - like I'd lacked experience, like I'd never be on her level or never be enough for her or something. And what I didn't get was that she didn't care. She wasn't looking for that guy anymore. She was looking for me, for the Bob. But by the time I realized this, it was too late, you know. She'd moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret. She was the girl, I know that now. But I pushed her away...

[Silent Bob lights a cigarette]

Silent Bob: So I've spent every day since then chasing Amy...

-To brightstar65 and those of you who have implied that I make my boyfriend feel like he could never be a good enough lover to me: In addition to being honest with him about my past, I have also been totally honest in telling him how great he is in bed and how I would rather be with him than anyone else I've ever been with and that he has a great dick, etc. We all have our insecurities, and I think everyone should point out their lover's good qualities.

Anyway, I could elaborate all day. Thanks (to most of you!) for the feedback.

I'm glad to see a woman admit, perhaps unintentionally, that there is a real issue here that guys are not just making up. There is no way any man unless he is a movie or rock star can have the same opportunities to learn to get good at sex as the average woman. Learning requires doing and men's opportunities to learn are limited

The best sex I ever had was with a man who had half as many sexual partners as I did. What made it the best? He was completely focused on pleasing me. He ASKED me if I was enjoying myself and if there was anything else he could do to make me feel good, and then he worked at it until he got it right. He was comfortable with his body and my body and obviously liked and respected women.

It has nothing to do with being a "rock star" (and as someone who's slept with musicians and actors I can tell you that they are often the shittiest lovers because they are selfish and don't care if the woman is enjoying herself). Every time you have sex with a woman it's an opportunity to learn how to please her (and newsflash, not every woman likes the same thing, so every time you sleep with a new partner you have to figure out what pleases that individual).

If you truly want to be a good lover, stop worrying about what she's done in the past and focus on making today as pleasurable as possible.

To clarify to Cary and everyone else, he went to two different therapists, but probably went to about six or seven sessions.

I don't think you're an economist.

i'd estimate about 1 in 100 men can sleep with any woman they want and 1 in 20 can easily sleep with quite a few

and 3/4 of women can sleep with any may they want, using these numbers which are approximately correct things can and do work out like I say they do. 1 in 100 or 1 in 20 is a lot of people and men can have a lot of sex. Look at the stats on how much gay men do, or have done, if you want some enlightenment on this score.

(1) Your assumptions are quite strange. First of all, there are many people out there who would not sleep with anyone except their SO. Period. So, "1 in 100 men can sleep with any woman they want" excludes all the women who won't cheat on their SO's.

(2) 1 in 20 can sleep with "quite a few." What is quite a few?

(3) Both (1) & (2) assume that these men have some sort of looks/personality that makes them irresistable to the "average woman." They underlying assumption here is that pretty much all women want the same thing out of men, and that a particular type of guy can get ANY woman to sleep with them. This betrays an incredible generalization on your part, don't you think? Women have different tastes in men.

(4) 3/4 of women can sleep with any man they want. Again, this is pretty generalized and misandrist. You're pretty much saying that any man (let's just limit it to single men) will sleep with 3/4 of the women out there, no matter how annoying, arrogant, stupid, intimidating, thin, ugly, etc. the women are. I think most men who respect themselves would be quite offended by that. Just like women in part (3) have different tastes in men, men have different tastes in women.

(5) Even assuming that parts (4), (1) and (2) are true, does that mean that men and women do sleep with every man or woman they can sleep with? Absolutely not. Your theory still doesn't explain why men report having almost twice as many partners, on average, as women do.

I think your little theory is just self-serving BS to help you live with your low numbers.