this crap reminds me of a frequent theme posted here when the gen-xers were bashing Pete Townshend: who the fuck are you? 160 letters of pure crap. Who the fuck cares what the "LW" did, didn't did, or is going to did and what the fuck do you people know about any of this in the first place? One more time - who the fuck are you?

"There is no way any man unless he is a movie or rock star can have the same opportunities to learn to get good at sex as the average woman. Learning requires doing and men's opportunities to learn are limited."

Your implication is that women's opportunities to learn are not limited like men's are. So, women are having sex and learning more than men are. But women are having sex with SOMEONE, right? And i think we're talking about heterosexual sex. So these women are having sex and learning from MEN. Now, unless you're going to argue that movie and rock starts have sex with so many women so many times that they actually make any sort of noticeable impact on the total amount of sex being had, you must women are having sex with men, and that both the men AND the women who are having this sex have the opportunity to learn.

You, like so many of your whiny compatriots here, fall into the "strength in numbers" justification for your own lack of success with women. Instead of being honest with yourself and trying to think of ways to become more appealing to women (for example, self-pitying complaints of how men are abused won't score you any dates), you've decided to try to convince yourself that your problems are the problems EVERYONE is having. You've combied that idea with the popular idea that "if you say it enough times, it becomes the truth."

Then she got mad at me when I ask after our hormones mellowed out if we could start working on aquiring aquaintences for an orgy....

there's really few sexually healthy people in the world...

your welcome.

...predictor of future behavior. Dump the skank. Especially if the 3some was with 2 guys....then she's really a whore. If it was with a guy and a girl, I'd still be leery. This broad has issues and they will become your issues if you continue to see her.

Speaking as someone who has been where BF is at (back when I was an immature, clueless young man), BF is an immature, clueless young man. He'll probably outgrow his immaturity but, unfortunately, that's years down the road right now. For the foreseeable future, he'll keep picking at this emotional wound. I really feel sorry for the guy because what he's going through is very real and very painful. But it's a hell of his own making.

For the LW, I would tell you that there's nothing "sacred" going on with BF; that's just guy BS trying to articulate reasons for irrational thoughts and behavior. He only has one course of action that's consistent with his stated beliefs and actions: leave the relationship. But that entails voluntarily giving up sexual relations with the LW. An immature guy isn't going to make such a mature choice. LW might try making that choice for him by cutting him off sexually. There's a lot of perspective to be gained when sex is taken out of the picture. At the very least, it'll precipitate some serious, heart-to-heart conversations. It might help and probably can't hurt.

However it turns out, I hope the LW doesn't take ownership of this "problem". It's entirely the BF's problem.

If he really loved her and really wanted to be with her then he'd let this go, or at least make the effort to (that is, he'd do couples counseling). Instead, he just wants to wallow in his self-made "rule" of what is right or wrong, and make the relationship miserable for both of them. That's a red flag.

She has *nothing* to be ashamed of here anyway. She'll be much happier with someone who agrees.

Get the hell away from this emotionally abusive man that is going to make you pay every time he finds out about a mistake or just something he doesn't think a "lady" should do. He's just got this threesome to pick at now, but even if you had never mentioned it he would have found something else to lord over you. Also, it's possible that initially he made you feel so good about yourself because he put you on a pedastal, but you just didn't know he put you there so he could knock you off it later.

If it had just been his initial reaction, sort of an "how could you do that" sort of thing then let it go, it'd be fine. I'd gone through this with my now husband, I'm a don't ask, don't tell type of gal but every so often one of his dumb ass friends would let some previous sexual exploit out in the middle of a conversation and then I've got new mental pictures and there were occasional past sharing because it was relavent where he would say okay, too much info, no more sharing please. But it never took longer than an hour or so to get over it and the same for him and we wouldn't pull it out in future arguments as a weapon. Our love was enough to get over any initial icky feelings and decide that they were irrational and put them away. It was actually good that he and I were more on the kinky adventurous side because it's made our married sex life a blast.

But to the LW, you need to learn to grow a spine. There is no way that he should have been allowed to berate you for 6 months, to withold sex, even the therapy is too much, someone shouldn't need threapy to accept you as you are. Even if you look back and think what you did wasn't that great or you aren't that proud of it, he's got no right to use it against you. There are things in my sexual past that I wouldn't do again if in the same situation, but those were my learning experiences, sometimes people need to do the thing to decide it isn't for them and there is no way in hell I would have ever let my boyfriend/husband make me feel bad about them. Stand up for yourself, you are not a dirty whore, while some people may think what you did was immoral, so the fuck what, you did it, you know you're not a whore so stop letting him treat you like it. Tell him to grow the fuck up, stop asking questions that he can't handle the answers to and tell him to enjoy his hand, since that's the only thing he can be sure of when it comes to where it's been.