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not in the upset about the threesome, but about having this irrational illogical feelings of jealousy that eat him up inside. I feel the same whenever I think too deeply about my boyfriend and his ex gf... when she texts him if we're together it has the ability to send me into a pit of despair curled up in the corner for hours on end. I know they're just being civil, I know he wouldn't meet up with her unless it was a short and purposeful meeting and I'm confident that he's 100% over her, we're amazing together. it's just a few friendly texts. But still it makes me feel like something terrible has happened and for days I'm upset.
Anyway the point is, I know my feelings shouldn't be happening. Jealousy is normal, but my bf cannot help his past and I can't punish him emotionally for being civil to his ex girlfriend. The LW's bf needs to grow up, stop hurting her for something she cannot change and try dealing with it if he wants the relationship to be happy, however he does it. My solution has been to say look I don't wanna hear about any of the texts she sends or if you're being friendly, just let me know if you're gona meet up or something (his attempt at helping me cope was making everything they said to each other transparent so I could see there's nothing going on, showing me texts etc. But it wasn't the possibility of something happening or imagining something happening that ate me up, it was what I knew to be true) and keep reminding myself when I start to get down about how it's all pretty insignificant now we're together.
It sounds like this guy needs to grow up a lot. I mean, initial shock and stuff yeah we can't help how we feel, but 6 months down the line? Why is this couple still together? He needs to find someone with no history and she needs to find someone mature enough to handle the fact she had a past.
