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• Wednesday, December 20, 2006 02:56 PM

  And, if this is true, what then?

  Anon says: "the number of women who give up men and sex when there are people willing to sleep with them is many many many times the number of men who do the same."

  Lets posit that this is true (and, I wouldn't be at all surprised if it *is* true, though I would wonder to what extent the reasons were biological vs cultural) -- what then? Are you implying that women have some responsibility to change that equation? That, because men are less able to "give up (wo)men and sex" that women should give them more sex, whether they want to or not, because men aren't motivated to do without? Because, thats what it sounds like you are saying. If thats not what you intend to say, could you correct my impression, please?

  If that is your argument, then I have to ask -- why is it not men's responsibility to learn to do without, if there are no women willing to have sex with them? I mean, if I don't want to have sex with a particular man (or any man) its not like I'm denying him something he has a right to. "I want it" is not a right. Nor am I responsible for whatever lengths said man may choose to go to, including changing his attitudes, to try to persuade me to have sex. If he thinks getting sex is more important than maintaining his philosophical position, I can sympathise with his desire, but am not obligated to fulfill it.

  It seems to me that what you are doing is reducing sex to a transaction. Women have something men want, and by golly, they should be willing to sell it -- and cheaply, too! But, sex doesn't work like that. At least, it doesn't work like that for many (if not most) women, and probably not for many men, either. It may, for you, and I don't have a problem with that, but I don't think it is going to work very well for you. The bottom line *may* be that men and women, as classes, don't want exactly the same things from a sexual experience. I'm not implying the old, "Men want sex and women want love," canard, but only that there may be subtle diffrences in what, really, any two people sizing one another up as sexual partners are looking for. And, it may be that what any particular woman is looking for is simply less available than what any particular man is looking for. That would result in the dynamic you have described, in which "women" have more opportunities for sex than "men" simply because more women have what men are looking for, and fewer men have what women are looking for. Howeve, even if that is true, its hardly womens' fault that they are, in essence, pickier (on average) than men. It may not seem fair, from your perspective, but neither is blaming that on women.

  —jls
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