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the socially problematic view that I refer to is that men and women are really different, (one of the key relevant differences is that they have hard wired different feelings about sex) and both have to compromise to make things work. In order to do this is is essential to be able to suspend at least for some purposes the compulsion to assert and act on the belief that only you are right. Of course everyone claims, in the abstact, to believe in compromise but when you start getting into a lot of specifics that involve peoples emotions and deeply held views it is in fact very difficult for people to do it unless failure to do so is going to cost them a price they REALLY don't want to pay. I take your point that on an individual level people do this. What is corrupt is the public discussion. It's kind of like victorian attitudes towards sex, it didn't stop people it just made them talk stupid. Admmittedly it is a judgement call though, because consciously dealing with something that you can't fix or mitigate just makes the unpleasntness more conscious and, since nothing can be done about it, permanent.
