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I am 48, and my boyfriend is 46. I have been married and divorced three times and my "number" is probably triple-digit, while his only sexual partners were a girlfriend in high school and his ex-wife. However, he never says anything about what I may have done in the past, other than ridicule my ex-husbands occasionally. We are too concerned with what is going on in our lives now, such as taking care of the house, our careers, and trying to raise two daughters.
Back in the seventies, I got involved in the "swingers" culture: attended a club and put an ad in a magazine. I got a number of responses to the ad and kept the letters and pictures for my own amusement. More than 10 years later, my second husband found them and acted like I had run the ad the previous week instead of a decade prior.
My advice to the LW is to stop apologizing, grab the kitties, and get away from that loser. You don't need therapy, you need to boost your self-esteem.
