Read other letters about this article

• Thursday, December 21, 2006 04:58 AM

  And Anon...

  You said: "man says to woman: I will have sex with you if you spend a lot of money entertaining me and buy me a bunch of stuff.

  chance she will hop to it and entertain him and buy him a bunch of stuff. Not too good. Woman says to man I might sleep with you if you entertain me and buy men stuff."

  While I agree with some of the underlying points I think you're getting at, notice how you've framed this: it's all about sex. This implies to me that, for you, relationships with women are all about sex (and not much more). For most people, relationships are about a lot more than that.

  If a man came up to me and said that, my response would be "What makes you think I want to sleep with you?" and "I'm not a john-- I'm not going to pay for sex. I'll get it from someone who likes me for who I am and wants to sleep with me, not a cash machine."

  Now, I would also never go up to a man and say what you have the woman saying, nor is that the implicit message of how I date (see previous post, re: splitting checks, etc.). For me, and I think a lot of people, it is more like: "Maybe we will sleep with each other if I get to know the real you, the real you is someone I admire and enjoy, and you get to know me and I am someone you admire and enjoy, and there is a certain level of physical attraction between us that makes each want to sleep with the other after we've gotten to know whether we like each other as human beings."

  This has absolutely nothing to do with money or power or expecting to hear only my point of view from men, or any of the stuff you've said. You're thinking of dating as a business transaction (dinner for sex or entertainment for sex or whatever), and that's not what it should be!

  —lww
  Permalink
  Flag
  Click "Submit Flag" if you feel this post is inappropriate. Explain why below if you wish.

  Cancel