Letters to the Editor

My boyfriend freaked out because I had a threesome It happened before we were together, but he can't handle it and he's being a real jerk. By Cary Tennis [2006-12-18]

• So pat, so easy to condemn, so logical -- NOT!

  Tom 70 wrote:

  "Add one more

  "Here's one more man who wouldn't give a damn if my girlfriend had been in a threesome before. Either MMF or MFF. Honestly. In fact, assuming she did it willfully, I'd admire her for taking responsibility for her own sexuality and for not just doing what the small-minded posters here would have her do."

  Well, good, that makes 2 who ACTUALLY say they would handle it differently from BF if it happened to them. (Out of maybe 100 letter writers.)

  "What I haven't heard is WHY so many of these guys would have a problem the situation. What would bother you about the fact that your girl had a threesome in her past?"

  As I explained in my original letter, I think it has to do with intense jealousy. An average guy would think of it as his fantasy -- and he wasn't there.

  This is not something to ignore or be condescending or critical about. It is a natural feeling, and feelings often are not logical. Hearing about the threesome she was in is far different from hearing that she simply had previous lovers (which is why it has nothing to do with her being a "slut").

  It is also not a double standard. Most women probably couldn't handle it very well either if their man started talking about the man's past lovers. Admittedly it's not exactly the same, but that's only because of the special place a MFF threesome holds in the male fantasy world. Again, it's remarkable that few, if any, letter writers admit that this is a special situation.

  -- captcrisis
  Permalink Flag Monday, December 18, 2006 09:54 AM
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