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My opinion is to not even go there with the "how many people have you been with and in what way?" topic when in a relationship, especially early on when it's going perfect.Things that happened before you were together are not relevant.You can only make it somewhat relevant by revealing. Stand firm on this "none of your business" position or face disapproval no matter how innocent you feel it is. Women can be honest without revealing their whole sexual history.I wouldn't suggest being the one to bring up this topic either, even if you are burning to know about him.
The only time this info is safe to reveal is if you're truly a virgin. It's the only acceptable answer to most men, even if you're a divorced mother of 3, no matter what they say. Men want to believe they're the only one you have ever been with, even if they know they're really not. It's an ego thing. They don't want to be compared to other guys, or think of you in the way they think about the girl they just slept with last night on their one night stand and so on. We are all adults. True. But the playing field is not even when it comes to this and you don't want to give a person a chance to try to make it be relevant to the new relationship. Whatever number I have given in the past, it is unacceptable to the guy.Even if it is less than their number, or in a less provocative situation than what they have just revealed to me.Especially a threesome, this is just not relevant information.
If you want to be in a relationship with a man as a female, "total truth" about trivial topics such as this is asking for rejection. Men are stimulated visually in general, so you don't want to give them a picture of you in less than flattering positions with other men, they can't get it out of their head once the image is there. As long as you're not giving someone any diseases, total revelation of your PAST private life is not neccessary.
I'm not sure I agree that this guy's reaction says something about him in particular.This is a general double standard. You just play along with the double standard.Rigorous honesty at your own risk. Don't ask,don't tell. If a guy persists in knowing "how many, which way and with whom?" he's probably going to be the type that will freak out. The only type of guy who I think could possibly accept or deal with this type of information is a porn star, but even then you're trying your luck. And really who wants a guy who doesn't care that their woman has had many many partners.Their character becomes questionable.That's just the way it is.
