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You said: "women on the other hand will tend to judge a man at least somewhat negatively if other women say he is a chauvanistic asshole. The way this plays out is that in a social setting men believe, correctly I think, that if they say the wrong thing it will reduce their chances of social/sexual success/opportunities with the female "community" in question. Women, correctly I think, believe that their appeal depends on attractiveness and sexual charisma and won't be much affected one way or the other by what they say or don't say."
I may not really be qualified to speak on the first point you make, since I have always lived in fairly large cities, where there are just too many people for there to be a single "female community." Certainly, in places where there is a dense population, a guy isn't going to ruin his chances with all the women around if he has a bad break up with or encounter with one woman. There are too many other women around who don't know her. Also, keep in mind that even in a fairly insular community, like, say, a smallish high school, there are always different groups, so there will be groups of women who don't like each other, wouldn't listen to each other's advice, etc. I have also never been interested in dating any of the former boyfriends of friends of mine, nor have I ever had a female friend interested in dating a former boyfriend of mine.
About your second point, it illustrates exactly what I personally do not like about your entire point of view, as it has been expressed here: MY APPEAL GOES WAY WAY WAY BEYOND ATTRACTIVENESS AND SEXUAL CHARISMA. YOU believe that all a woman is is attractiveness and sexual charisma-- this is clear because you said that we "correctly" think this. I would rather gouge my eyes out with a kitchen knife than date a man who doesn't care what I say or don't say. That is exactly the kind of man I try to avoid at all costs. I want to be related to AS A PERSON, not as a piece of meat. Maybe there are some women who only want to be viewed as sex objects, but I don't know any of them.
