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Read other letters about this article
so i think babelsquirrel put it pretty succinctly, that the main problem is the BF's ill treatment of LW rather than just the feeling of insecurity, which we all struggle with.
in this regard, while i completely agree with cary's advice, it somewhat initially bothered me that there was no acknowledgement of this reality. the BF is an ass, but his reaction is not out of the ordinary in our society as alex unfortunately illustrates.
so...alex...wow...uhhh...
you praise meghan for saying that most men can't handle a woman having any sexual history. i think both men and women are insecure about this for obvious reasons, but that men are more so because of various double standards, male dominance etc. and as a result, some men act quite nastily toward single women with a healthy sex life, again handily illustrated by you. i suppose one of my biggest problems with you is that you justify men feeling this way (and conveniently yourself). that since this is "reality" and the "norm", its cool. that the "average guy" would label LW a "slut" makes it okay. just because the "feminist ideal" doesn't exist, we shouldn't strive for a more equal society.
wouldn't it serve both men and women if we could work past these feelings and double standards? especially considering as many have pointed out that the "reality" (which you are not facing alex) is that most women will have multiple partners.
when you say things like LW clearly doesn't respect herself or her body, you are making a value judgement that is not yours to make. whatever you personnally feel about threesomes, you do not know this woman and you have no right to tell her how she should feel about her body. if indeed you are not religious, i think you need to think about your moral framework and what exactly it is about a sexual act between consenting adults that is inherently demeaning (to her alex? or the men too?).
which brings me to another bag of worms. all these people who seem to like to think that they are soooo progressive and educated and completely beyond the pedestrian biases of the masses. "hey, i'm a liberal woman, i don't stereotype girls/boys." "there was a gay guy in my frat, im no homophobe." "i'm an atheist, i don't make harsh moralistic judgements." "i went to yale..."
we all have "bad thoughts" but the only way anthing is going to get better is if we honestly look at ourselves and why we feel how we do and work past it. LW's BF refused to do this. i reccomend alex that you try.
