- Top Features:
- War Room
- Glenn Greenwald
- Broadsheet
- Joan Walsh
- Camille Paglia
- Since You Asked
- Follow Salon:
Read other letters about this article
Aside from the issues of disrespect and judgment that are at play here, I think you have also exposed an important element of this man's participation in your relationship: a lack of willingness to work to find a resolution to a serious issue in your relationship. Clearly you want very much to find a way to repair the relationship - to learn to communicate about it and to resolve what has happened such that you can value and love one another as you did early in the relationship. It would seem that he is resistant to participating in finding a resolution. This is an important thing for you to know. If he is not willing to work with you to resolve this difference, what other differences will he be unwilling to address in the future? Having been married for 10 years myself, I never could have anticipated the things that my husband and I would find ourselves disagreeing about as we travel through life together. Every so often we find one that is particularly difficult to work through and occasionally seek outside professional help to do it. If we weren't both committed to working on things together we would be very distant from each other by now. A lot of little distances and disagrements eventually add up to a big chasm between you.
If he doesn't value the relationship enough now to work to resolve your differences/disagreements, I doubt he will value it enough in the future to do so.
