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Loved Cary's response, but I think you were absolutely right to tell him. You were honest. And your reasons for being honest were right on target. Furthermore, you didn’t bring the situation up. Your boyfriend wanted to know. Now he’s acting like a petulant child. Geez, crying? Is he twelve? If sex is so sacred, why didn’t he express outrage (at least to you) at the friend who met his girlfriend in a threesome?
The only thing I can see wrong in what you say is that he probably was never the great guy and perfect life mate you describe him as. Because people really don’t change overnight. Perhaps you were avoiding issues that might challenge your perception? Or perhaps nothing serious had ever come up before?
It sounds like he’s very religious. In which case, maybe there are other things about how you both live your lives, or have behaved in the past, that would have caused trouble, as well. (Nothing at all wrong with being religious; but if one is and one isn’t, or the belief systems are very different, it can cause a lot of problems.)
In this day and age, a person in the dating world has expect that just about anyone they meet is likely to have had some kinky experience (and I don’t consider a three-way very kinky). What with the information overload, we’re all really aware of the variety of things to do in bed. And with the highly oscillating standards of society, there aren’t a lot of barriers (legal, social, psychological) preventing us from giving those things a try. Really, if he’s this bothered because he sees sex as a sacred occurance, he’d best restrict his dating to women who join the adult singles group at his church.
But you don't describe him as religious otherwise, so I wonder if this is even the issue. Does he consider it okay for a man (like the friend you both have—you don't say who's friend he was first) to engage in these things, but for a woman to do it shows some lack of respect for the "sacred"? Or is it the possibility of a woman being bisexual (not saying you are) that's freaking him out? Or were you with two guys and that gets puts his jealousy into over-drive?
I could understand if you wanted to have a guy on the side, or were using this to push him into a three-way with you, or brought it up to taunt him. But nothing you describe sounds like a reason to feel any guilt. So don’t.
Feel relief you realized at this point what sort of man your boyfriend is. And move on to someone better.
