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This has been said before, but here goes again for the benefit of those who don't realize this.
Women theoretically could go to a bar and go home with some stranger, or go on Adult Friend Finder, or proposition the guy down the street who seems nice enough and not psycho, or call up an ex and establish a FWB relationship with no strings attached--you see I've fantasized about it enough to come up with a few scenarios--and yet I never have acted on these ideas, even at my absolute horniest (when I was younger.) Why not?
1) Many women--not all, but I would say the vast majority--are more emotionally vulnerable than "anon" probably realizes--to the feeling of having been "only wanted for one thing." Now this is not all women. I personally couldn't handle it emotionally. A one-night stand would not boost my ego the way I hear it would boost many men's ego--just the opposite. I would be much too emotionally vulnerable if the guy didn't want to at least listen when my stupid cat died or something, no strings attached for the 10 minutes of sympathy when my stupid cat died...but after a one-night stand, many people never want to see or talk to the person again. Emotionally I have a hard time with that. Sex with an ex who cares about me as a person is more emotionally "safe" in this regard, but I might be leading the ex on. For this reason, I have never called up an ex for sex either--though I have wanted to very much.
2) I am not homely but I am not a "10." Guys are not shy to let average women know that they are average. Again, emotionally, it is not worth it to me to get sex and the "not pretty enough" treatment. The emotional fallout is not worth the hypothetical "scoring." If I thought I would get treated like a beautiful woman for that one night, maybe the deal would be more attractive, but with the "not up to my usual standards" treatment, which guys aren't shy to let that show...
it's not worth it. any guys want to use this as a hint, to have better success out there, have at it.
3) One of the biggest reasons, he could be Mr. Goodbar and go psycho and kill me. It happens all the time. OK not all the time but about every 5 years or so in a town of 200,000 where I live.
4) Impact on my reputation. It is unfortunate that this remains a factor but with the way things are, it remains not worth the risk. Part of the risk is the thought not just that I would be thought to have loose "morals," but that I wasn't considered worth more than that, socially.
It's just not worth it to most women, if I may speak for most women.
I know this will not put to rest the notion that women can "get laid anytime they want," but for the vast majority, "getting laid" for the sake of getting laid is just not something women value or pursue.
