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You said "However, what you are failing to realize is that this is a temporary thing-- once the relationship has developed, it is an open question who has more power." While I agree with that thought, I have to point out that anon seems to be focusing on that specific period -- so what comes after is irrelevant. He (I assume its a he?) is concerned with the perceived imbalance of power specifically during that initial time period where the couple has just met. If, I think he's saying, the man can't make it past that first hurdle, and future redress of that imbalance is a moot point. Of course, he also seems to be saying that men will lie in order to make it past that first hurdle and into the sack, and seems surprised that the women are later disappointed when they discover those lies.
I think this speaks to a fundamental difference in how some men and some women approach relationships. Certainly, it speaks to a difference between how that man (anon) and this woman (me) approach them! I never thought of it this way, but yes, I do put up hurdles for men to jump on their way to my bed, and if they miss one, they're out of the race. I don't necessarily do it conciously, but I do it. For instance, I will feel out what a guy thinks on issues like feminism, politics, etc. Why? Well, in the immediate sense, because the idea of sleeping with someone who holds certain view strikes me as rather icky, but the real answer is about how I approach relationships. Unlike some people, whether men or women, I never have sex *just* for the sake of the sex. If I don't think there's the possibility of long-term relationship of some kind with the particular man in front of me, I'm not going to sleep with him, no matter what lovely attributes he may have. It seems to me that anon is disturbed by this outlook, as the more women who have it, the less likely it is that he will make all the hurdles (without being dishonest) and get laid. I can sympathise with that. But, what it seems to boil down to is that we're looking for very different outcomes -- anon wants to get laid, I want to have a relationship that includes getting laid, but really goes way beyond that. Ultimately, he may want the relationship thing, too, but in the meantime, he just wants to get laid, and its not happening with the frequency he would prefer!
