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Monday, December 18, 2006 12:00 AM

My boyfriend freaked out because I had a threesome

It happened before we were together, but he can't handle it and he's being a real jerk.

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  • Sunday, December 17, 2006 07:58 PM

    Megan, good point

    Finally, a girl who acknowledges that the world does not operate according to ideal rules. What you said about the image being permanently burned into the guy's retina's was right on target, which explains why he 'felt sick'. Yes, there is indeed a double standard in this, as in many other things, though not entirely, as I have known girls who were extremely bothered by their boyfriends' past exploits (I think Salon recently had a review of a book about this, called "Was She Pretty?"). Of course, some may say that playing by the double standard encourages this, but if you want to put the burden of your entire gender's sexual struggle onto all your personal decisions, you need to be prepared for the consequences. There is no easy solution to this, though calling the guy a sexist pig might seem like an easy one.

    And to agree with your final statement, the guys I know who WOULDN'T care about something like this are the 'player' types who view dating as a sport and sex as a casual thing in general.

    The only thing that slightly bothers me is that you seem to encourage lying about it. I always have a problem with lying, but in this case I can't think of a better alternative. If the past actions really don't have an effect on your personality, I suppose it won't do any harm, unless of course the lie is found out. Beyond that, the questions get too metaphysical - does the truth matter if no one knows about?

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