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I don't agree that you have to totally immerse yourself in love with somebody to find out if they're bonkers. Well maybe really psycho serial killers would be that good at hiding their psychoness and then you might have to be immersed to figure them out, but other than that people usually give off signals to their habits and hangups, etc. before they exibit really obvious psychoness.
At least in my case I used to think that, but I think it was more that I really wanted to be with the person for whatever reason and I ignored and denied signs that they were psycho and not right for me.It just makes it harder to detect once we are involved, once you have crossed that line where you start letting little things slide because you really like them. It sucks and it's more difficult but it's so much more beneficial to find out that stuff before you commit your heart and then you can let them go without as much hurt.
Maybe i'm wrong but through much experience sometimes when i look at my past relationships there were signs that the person was not quite up to my par way before the major blowup.
