- Top Features:
- War Room
- Glenn Greenwald
- Broadsheet
- Joan Walsh
- Camille Paglia
- Since You Asked
- Follow Salon:
Read other letters about this article
I'm glad to see a woman admit, perhaps unintentionally, that there is a real issue here that guys are not just making up. There is no way any man unless he is a movie or rock star can have the same opportunities to learn to get good at sex as the average woman. Learning requires doing and men's opportunities to learn are limited
The best sex I ever had was with a man who had half as many sexual partners as I did. What made it the best? He was completely focused on pleasing me. He ASKED me if I was enjoying myself and if there was anything else he could do to make me feel good, and then he worked at it until he got it right. He was comfortable with his body and my body and obviously liked and respected women.
It has nothing to do with being a "rock star" (and as someone who's slept with musicians and actors I can tell you that they are often the shittiest lovers because they are selfish and don't care if the woman is enjoying herself). Every time you have sex with a woman it's an opportunity to learn how to please her (and newsflash, not every woman likes the same thing, so every time you sleep with a new partner you have to figure out what pleases that individual).
If you truly want to be a good lover, stop worrying about what she's done in the past and focus on making today as pleasurable as possible.
