Hi, years ago I was offered the opportunity to be in a few minutes of a film that had nudity but no sex, through a respectable alternative filmmaker. (not the guy who did the film.) I did it. Later a creepy guy in my boyfriend's building described to me a mole I have in a private area. I was shocked, and said I had never been in a porn movie. But it is likely that I had. I once went to a porn theater with my current honey and saw how much editing there is. The young woman's face is shown; the "action" parts come from people who really earn their living that way. It looks as if it is you, due to the cutting. Don't do it. Don't even get mixed up with these people. Let's see, ways to make money...I think there are others. My son is pulling about $13 per hour as a part-time busser at a nice restaurant; he is a student. Schools often have psychology experiments that pay well. On campus job centers have jobs. Be a bartender if you want the thrill of something edgy(for a student). I did that, too. Stay away from creeps. And yes, not all fetishes are creepy as someone else said, but "fetish" is by definition not "wholesome". Contrary to what Cary suggests "PhD" and "sex work" don't go together. If you do get a PhD you may find yourself speaking in public, in front of students, who knows?--running for office. Protect your image.

I don't have a fucking clue so I'll vaccilate...and I believe every stripper who told me she was "just working her way through college."

Anon writes, as I have heard other men say:

"As a male I find myself unable to truly understand, on an emotional level, why being sexually desired can be so disturbing."

Answer: Anon, maybe if it was you, it wouldn't be disturbing. But being desirable suggests maybe consumating an act. It is a dynamic, a preliminary to a possible event. The rankness and vileness out there is massive; most women do not want even to be seen clothed by a lot of the men who watch this stuff. It makes veils seem totally practical. I will never forget the image of watching a 400-pounder waddle into an adult film shop as I drove by. Sad and awful at the same time. Everybody needs love, or sex, but they can fantasize about somebody or something else. The more I think about this whole subject the more I want the hijab.

Dear LW,

In all my years of lurking on Cary's site, yours is the first letter that has motivated me strongly enough to respond.

Another poster supplied you with the dismal reality about job prospects in academia. It is important not to discount that information--the situation is not going to improve any time soon. Unfortunately, for as useful as that article is, I didn't see much in it about the very low salaries that most non-tenure-track instructors (outside of the adjuncts from the professions, that is) are paid. In most post-secondary schools in my area, the net rate of pay--once you factor in prep time--is right around minimum wage.

That should be cautionary enough, but I also want to urge you to reconsider your assumption that getting a Ph.D. is necessary for teaching. You may be surprised there too by how little actual "teaching" gets done by faculty. If you really want to teach, you'd be better off getting a teaching certificate and then doing advanced work in your discipline. A Ph.D. is a research credential, and in most places desperately little will be done to train you for presenting your work to students. Those who train teachers generally come through the ed school ranks, not the academic ranks.

Of course, I can understand why you would want to do it. The fantasy is great, and for some (very few) the reality can approach the dream. But take a look at the Chronicle of Higher Education (chronicle.com) for the insider's scoop on what it's really like. Check out the columns of "Thomas H. Benton," who writes quite eloquently about the quandary he finds himself in when talking with promising students interested in graduate study.

I have two more recommendations. If you had wonderful instructors at various stages of your education, go back to talk with them. Find out how they got to their current position; what preparation and training helped them most; what sorts of contacts they can offer to you to help you along. Then, if you have an idea about the kind of institution you'd like to teach in, go talk with some faculty there about the training they received and how they managed to get to that particular school. Make no mistake--the academic world is still clubby, almost feudal, and the students who enter graduate programs now with a CLEAR idea of exactly whom they want as advisors, what they want to research, what they will do when they leave, and how they will do it, may get jobs. Otherwise, take a number.

By all means, keep dreaming. But those dreams deserve your conscientious support all along the way.

Please. Isn't it quite the coincidence that every LW has the most unique set of circumstances that prevent him or her from seeking normal opportunities...you know, the kind that would be obvious even to a rock?

I want to earn my Ph.D. and become a teacher...so should I do porn? No in-between, no "try looking in the want ads." "I own a home, but I'm too fucking stupid to figure out how to pay for college."

The hell with this. LW, do it. Star in ass-to-mouth vids. Get fucking filthy rich. Then find Jesus and write a book about it, get even richer. Then unmask the born-agains as the charletans and closet queens they are; write a book about that and get as rich as Bill Gates.

Then fund a library at Harvard and they'll give you an honorary Ph.D. and you can star in your own "reality" show called "Hot for Teacher."

Now get back to your real job and STFU. You annoy me.