If you're an exhibitionist attention whore, this is the perfect gig for you. You'll fondly cherish the memories of your glorious bare-assed nights in the spotlight when you're 40 and alone. Or when your kid is crying, and your husband is calling you a slut. Have a good life.

Some of you seem to be saying, "well just go get this or that" but fact is - is there *always* going to be this or that available to every Ph.D student who applies?

No there won't. Just the same as there isn't always going to be a job for everyone, anytime, all the time. You're competing against every other Ph.D student or even those going for their Masters. Bottom line, you're competing for jobs. And you may not get them, no matter how many times you apply, no matter how many hundreds of resumes you send out to every suitable place you find in the phone book.

You have to do something.

Look at it this way. If the income doesn't nearly begin to pay off the debt or deficit, well you have to do something. And from reading what LW's put down, she's already working 2 jobs, AND doing her Ph.D. I find it immensely dense that some of you even suggest that she's not doing enough. She's doing all that she can. Sounds about right to me.

There are many girls who become a stripper for many different kinds of reasons. Some are single mothers. Some are feeding an addiction of some kinds. Still others have had a troubled past and are finding an outlet for it in the industry.

Should you choose this route, you're acknowledging great risks, but great monetary rewards. How do escorts do it? Maybe consult them and see what tips they have.

High risk, high pay. Is it worth it? For many, it is.

If you feel comfortable with your sexuality and the subject matter, then you should do it. But, if you feel uncomfortable with the whole thing and are doing it just for the money, then stay away. Dancing in a strip club is one thing where you could make a great deal of money and move to another city. Making a fetish video pretty much guarantees that there will always be a chance that someone you know will see it and judge you harshly.

Breaking into a teaching position as a PhD can open you to all sorts of scrutiny. Making a fetish video, even without nudity, could destroy your future job prospects. while many people crow about academia being full of liberal professors, it really is rather conservative. And, with the subtle biases against women, a perceived black mark in a past action could loom very large over your career objective.

I wish you well. But, I think this is not the solution to your problems.

Don't do anything that could one day jeopardize your ability to get tenure. If you think no one will find out, remember that it only takes one student who gets a bad grade in your class to find your video and ruin your career. If you think it's no one's business, read up on today's university climate -- please realize that the university is in business for itself and will cut its losses if one of its members is discovered to have had something controversial in her past.

Teaching at an instutition of higher education is a highly rewarding and exciting job (I am an instructor at a Big Ten university). However, there are a lot of politics as well. It's worth a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to get there, but all that will mean nothing if there is the potential that you will embarrass the university. Plus, your ability to teach effectively would be torpedoed if your students found out about your videos.

(I am assuming you're looking at higher ed since you're getting a Ph.D., but the elementary and secondary ed world is even more cutthroat, and there is no chance at all that you'd keep a job teaching kids if these videos were discovered.)

Depending on what field you are going into and whether you're willing to move to go to school, there are a lot of options out there. Many schools, especially larger ones, offer teaching assistantships so that they can fill teaching slots for all their classes. There are also fellowships and grants to think about, and of course student loans. Talk to the graduate officers at the schools you're considering and find out what your options are. Study hard for the GRE -- a high score opens a lot of doors.

From a personal standpoint, it's your own choice whether to do these videos or not. However, as a teacher, your personal life will never be entirely your own, and it can have serious ramifications for your career. Remember that when you're weighing the risks and benefits. "It's my life" will not get you through the tenure committee.

The fact that a young woman who wants a Ph.D to teach has to struggle with dilemmas about sex work in order to afford it is a fine reminder of why the liberal political policies are the right ones.

That should not be the case, she should be able to get that training without having to resort to this.

On a broader note, no pun intended, our society doesn't quite have the 'sex' thing down that well, either. The fact is, there are a lot of people who have sexual needs and desires which are not dealt with too well.

What problems do we have which cause so many fetishes to begin with? Why are otherwise healthy citizens ending up in the situation that they're out paying a reluctant woman for her underwear (perhaps they're Cary's next letter)? Why do so many seem to handle their sex issues about as well as our society handles food and obesity nowadays?

Why are there so few good answers for these people, too? How many 'relationships' are based on survival needs of a partner wearing a fake smile during sex in order to maintain the financial contributions of their partner, damaging to both?

It's a problem both that we have people pressured into sexual services for financial reasons, and that we have so many sexual issues that the industry for those sexual services is large.

But rather than just give advice to this woman which is narrow between her financial need and her danger from degrading activities, let's remember the importance of our political agenda, that it's not about fun little debates, it's about helping people like this woman be able to teach children without scarring sex work needed.