I was in a history program at a very respected urban university. I was funded, but still had to borrow a bit simply to pay rent (this is the one HUGE benefit of attending a school in a rural area - you can probably live on the stipend). There are few professions that I'd recommend running from, but academia, ESPECIALLY in the humanities, is one of them.

Somebody wrote the following about the years leading up to the dissertation:

"This process involves weeding out the less than brilliant and less than diligent and the distracted and the emotionally un-tough."

I think this process also reveals to many, including myself, that they are worth more than a non-tenure track position in North Dakota to the tune of $45K after years and years of work (if you think this is an exaggeration, think again). I left at the ABD stage and feel like a success for it, not a failure. I was proud of myself for recognizing relatively early on that there was just no way I was expending labor for such a paltry, paltry reward. I was doing very well, had all of the accolades I should have had , and was working with a luminary in my field who assured me that her advisees always got jobs. I realized that that wasn't enough and that if I had the diligence and discipline to get as far as I did in academia, the rewards were far higher in more lucrative fields. I bailed and went to law school - best decision I ever made. I am making, literally, three to four times as much money as my friends in academia are. Yes, my hours are long and the work is often boring, but I have a somewhat secure future and will, at some point, be a homeowner. Also, if one is a star, one can teach law school after a stint in practice - that's three years of school versus 5+ years of school at a far higher salary. Those jobs are few and far between, but there's an entire profession beyond those jobs for law school grads, unlike Ph.D grads.

LW, if you're considering sex work for financial security, I think you need to think twice about academia, if only for financial reasons. It is a long, long road with very little money for the vast majority of graduates. There is nothing wrong with wanting money - I dissuade you from entering academia, if that's your goal.

Sweetie, you need to start looking around. A good PhD program should pay you around $18,000 to work as a teaching assistant or graduate assistant. It should also provide you with a tuition waiver. Find programs that have good TA programs and apply to those programs. Hang in there.

I did fetish and burlesque dancing for years to pay bills and don't regret it. I have a wonderful white-collar career now and no mental scarring. Keep your head about you and know your boundaries. It won't mess with your head unless you buy the fear mongering that it somehow demeans you to flaunt your sexuality for..gasp... cash! All in all it was a great experience that I look back on fondly.

So, forget the sex work yes/no yes/no.

She says that she's "suupooritng a family member, and that's where money goes".

Earth to potential PhD student. Even if you belong to the closest knit family on earth. Even if you belong to the most crazy strict organization on earth. Even then. NOBODY should expect that you are not able to support yourself while you are supporting someone else.

Stop that. Whatever you are giving to that person, cut it in half this month, then halve it again next month, then again the next.

If you really want to help that person, it should not be at the expense of your own life.

Sheesh.

This young woman, at the age of 25, has many options and yet cannot see past resorting to sleazy methods to make a living. She is obviously in need of competent mentoring.

I agree with some posters that her wish for a Ph.D. is a way of avoiding starting the rest of her life. If she really wants to teach, she can work while taking courses to become a certified teacher in her state, and teach in high school or other levels. As some have pointed out, many universities don't even hire or require Ph.D.s to teach; there's a recent article in the Boston Globe regarding the decrease in tenured positions.

There was at time when people could practice some very bad judgment and the only place it would come back to haunt them was in their own heads. However, in this day and age, electronic access exposes everyone to revelations, judgments, ridicule, embarrassment, and the like. Participating in "sleazy" media can, if discovered, lead to rejection by employers, as they don't want to risk being tainted by embarrassment or have their reputations questioned. And then, if you still DO want to go into teaching, well, forget that. If you've been "found out," you'll be rejected out of hand, or fired if you've begun (whether justifiably or not is not the issue--are you looking to have such headaches and heartache down the road?).

There are things that you have control over: your good name, reputation, and integrity. It may be hard to see at the age of 25, but as time goes on, you'll come to cherish these even more. These are things to build on, not destroy for no good reason. Choose a path upon which you can carve out your future--sharpen up some office and computer skills so that you can at least temp while you take courses and keep yourself employable. Or try to find a "permanent" job with a non-profit or company with a mission that's in line with your own values or philosophy. Act as though you really want these jobs; people know when you're just looking to make a quick buck.

There's no guarantee of a perfect career, but there's no reason you shouldn't try for what suits you best. Just take sensible, reasonable steps to get there. If you're ambitious, intelligent, and willing to put in the work, you should be able to achieve a satisfactory profession without potentially damaging your sense of self-worth and ruining your reputation.

And keep your underwear; you're bound to need it in the long run.