Letters to the Editor

I need money to get a Ph.D. -- should I do some fetish videos? I sold my underwear to a skeevy dude and was shaking for an hour after he left. By Cary Tennis [2006-12-13]

• Don't Do It For The Money

  If you're going to get into sex work, it shouldn't be for the money, and I'll tell you why:

  The field is being flooded right now with twentysomethings who do it as a hobby, dabble in it for spare cash, think porn money is the ticket to riches, or need a job with flexible hours they can work a college schedule around. In any profession with low barriers to entry, pay is only high when demand outstrips supply.

  The supply has exploded.

  Sex work is becoming more and more accepted - trendy in some circles - almost a sex-positive feminist rite of passage. It's easier to get into and easier to find information about. Sex worker fellows and role models are more accessible than ever.

  With all this information at your fingertips what's your excuse for being naive enough to sell your panties to a stranger in person? As an academic I know you know how to research. Don't let your financial situation override your common sense. (The previous advice about cutting down your personal finances is good; cutting expenses can quell a lot of money panic.)

  Sex work requires guts, caution, and pervert savvy. It also requires knowing your personal boundaries and being able to stick to them even under duress. It's sex workers that compromise their boundaries who have the most problems later on. It's not for everyone and if you feel this uneasy about it, then it's probably not for you. That doesn't make you a lesser person, just someone with different boundaries.

  That's fine. You've got nothing to prove. It's just a gig.

  This is high-intensity work; don't be mistaken. If you'd shy away from nursing, counseling, or police work then you might want to think again. Sex work is rewarding, and not only financially, but it is demanding. It's emotionally draining, financially uncertain, socially unacceptable, and very hard to explain to your friends, family, and significant others. Don't fall into it if your heart's not in it. It won't be worth it for you.

  If the money's the only reward for you then it won't be enough to compensate. If money's not the only reward for you then all those hurdles might not be enough to hold you back.

  You're basically looking at fetish modelling as a temp job for temp money. Why not get a mainstream temp job? You'll be able to put it on your resume, and you probably won't feel weird about it. If you can type that's all you need for data entry. It's boring and unglamorous work but it's steady money and that's more than you can say for fetish work.

  I'm a sex worker and it's where I'm happiest; for me this is the career I chose over programming. However it's not an easy path even when you choose it freely. Don't go into this with your back against a wall.

  Whatever you do, do it because you want to. Make sure it's the right choice for you. Don't make any major life decisions out of desperation if you can avoid it.

  -- Sabrina Morgan
  Permalink Flag Wednesday, December 13, 2006 10:17 PM
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