Journalism is not the profession for you. Period.

Useful journalism is all about afflicting the comfortable and comforting the afflicted. You're going to ruffle feathers in the process.

The fact that you're getting great grades in J school says a great deal about the state of contemporary journalism.

Early in my suburban paper reporting career, I don't recall being afraid to ask intrusive questions. But the longer I stayed in the field, the more I disliked invading privacy, and I probably did hold back a little bit.

But mostly I didn't, and at my best I think I used the intrusive questions to get at motivation, to make both sides in a controversy more or less comprehensible to a reader. And I hated to be lied to.

I went to the paper at 26, just out of college->army->college, and stayed at the same paper for 30 out of the next 34 years, with time out for Peace Corps and municipal PR. Mostly reported, did some copy editing and spent the last 15 years doubling as computer systems person.

Nearing 70, in retirement and now halfway across the state, I write columns for the paper, and freelance for a small town daily.

Tonight, I stopped by a home in a rural village to ask a guy about his side in a controversy, not quite wanting to make the stop and ask some unpleasant questions. I was pleasant and understanding and he talked easily. I don't know what kind of a story I've got, and that raises my deeper concern: delivering a good story.

Not too many years before I retired, I floored my city editor, a younger guy, when I told him that every time I went out on a breaking story, I asked myself, "How the hell will I pull this one off?" With my age and experience, I didn't know? By the time I retired, I mostly got over that.

It was, is, the best job I can imagine. I'll tell anybody that it was one job that rewarded me for everything I've ever learned, from math and science to ham radio, sociology and history, home ownership and personal relationships and living in a developing country. Everything I ever learned also made me a pretty good copy editor.

Cary's advice is sound. But I'd guess that even in the entertainment field, a shy reporter may tire of the spin and hype, get pissed off and begin to challenge the spin and hype and his own shyness.

No.

You can definitely be a good journalist without asking uncomfortable questions. It's called letting someone hang themselves by their own petard. ie let them talk long enough, flatter them enough, and they'll reveal themselves to you. When you write about them you don't need to be mean, just accurate. The reader will cotton on.

The name of one of these magazines you could write for is Hello! I love it. People are photographed in glamorous surroundings, in a variety of outfits, and encouraged to boast and preen as much they want. The journalist is always sympethetic in his or her approach, and that just helps matters along nicely. The subject routinely makes a fool of themselves, in a very entertaining way.

My favourite photo was of Ryan um. Farrah Fawcett's guy, Love Story guy. Him. Anyway. He was boxing a punching bag on the verandah of his Malibu beach house, pulling in his stomach adn smiling at the camera in the mirror. A classic.

You could argue Hello has nothing relevanat to say about our world today, but we've always needed bufoons, court jesters, and it's even better when they look good in a sequin dress.

It kind of sounds like you picked a career path as a self-improvement excercise. You keep saying you should be tougher, pushier, less sensitive, a little more of x, a little less of y...

That just doesn't sound like a good way to choose a career. Maybe find something that meshes a little more naturally with your own groove? Maybe technical writing, or corporate communications, or some kind of PR job would be more comfortable and interesting for you? I mean really, who convinced you that you needed to find a career that would give you a personality remodel, anyway? Someone who is having trouble accepting the outcomes of the decisions they made with their lives? SOmeone who is happy to pick at you and never fails to tell you all about how and where you fail to measure up to whatever weird ideal lives in their fevered brain?

Geesh, life is short. Be who you are and do what you want to do. There are more ways to live an interesting life and be of great value to the world around you than many people would have you believe. And you'll be better if you are happy and comfortable in your own skin.

Really.

...and not a journalist. I had the exact same problem as you. I hated making people uncomfortable. Now that I'm "just a writer," I'm much happier. I love writing. Cary is spot on: Make yourself useful some other way than being an in-the-field journalist.

If the LW is afraid of asking personal questions but likes journalism, there are several other options, such as copy editing (as Cary suggested), trade press or scientific journlism. OK, not nearly as glamorous as working for Hello! or the New York Times, but there are loads of great writing jobs out there that might suit better.

I used to write for a technology magazine, which I first thought might be boring, but I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. I had a great time because I was writing, constantly learning new things, working with a great group of people, and meeting loads of new people. I knew nothing about cororate IT when I first started, but it's surprising how a subject can become alot more interesting once you actually know more about it! Plus I got to go to some great places (like Italy, Spain, Germany) for press trips. Of course, the LW will still have to ask alot of questions, sometimes tough ones, and be able to parse alot of corporate bullshit and spin. But at least the "nosey questions" aren't about someone's private life or deeply personal issues, so there's no fear of writing "moroninc misinterpretations of their lives". So long as one does the proper amount of research, speaks to as many sources as possible, and has a good editor the chances of accidentally ruining someone's life or looking like a complete idiot are slim to nil!

Not all journalism is about politics or people's personal lives.