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• Thursday, December 7, 2006 08:59 AM

  Embrace your uncertainty

  Shiv Scrib:

  I suffered (and wondered and agonized about) from the same issues you describe when I attended J-school. I continue to suffer and wonder and agonize from and about them today, 26 years later. I've won a bunch of awards, been published in a lot of national magazine, been anthologized a lot, written two books...so suffering and wondering and agonizing does not preclude achieving a measure of success in the field. You might take some solace from that. In fact, years ago someone suggested that I start looking at my tendency to worry about how others feel as a strength rather than an unmitigated curse. That is, the fact that I worry about other people, that I'm shy, prone to anxiety...all that informs who I am, how I see the world...and how I write. It helps me in some ways to relate to people, and to help others feel comfortable opening up to me.

  There was a time in my career when I consciously avoided the cop beat. There was another time when I left writing to edit.Both decisions were based on my feeling that I couldn't handle the terrible stress of daily deadlines, and, uh, writing. What I realize now is that my fear was much, much, much worse than the reality of the situation would have been. I suspect that your depression, as another letter writer pointed out, is probably coloring your world view. If you make sure that's being treated (as well as any other issues, like addiction), stress gets easier to take.

  Would you enjoy life as political reporter on a daily? I don't know. (The best investigative reporter I know, though, who has won multiple Pulitzers, is also one of the nicest guys in the world). But I would encourage you to not beat yourself up about your shyness.

  —fellow sufferer
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