for my part, I blame all the HYSTERIA on the BUSH administration and its ongoing efforts these past 6 years to turn us into a nation of sexually DEPRAVED fearful morons.

I totally agree with the standing. As someone went through this unpleasant experience I have to tell you that it will be only fair if you tell it to your partner upfront. On the contrary, if he likes you he would date you while learning all about it which will result in both of you learning how to be together on one hand and stay safe on the other hand.

You can take an example from my story and understand how much is important to be candidate with your partner. The other way will result with endangering his health as well your relationships (in short Loose- Loose situation)

I was dating for the last couple of months, which I knew from one of the most known Jewish dating sites.

Both of us are in the mid 30’s (actually I am more near to 40 but still at my 30’s ), had an excellent education background, Dignified jobs and etc.

In short we had unprotected sex in our second date. It took her more than a week to tell me that she

has a Gentile Herpes type 2. I felt so stupid and irresponsible because I should have used protection as I always used to. Today I realized I should have stopped this relationship right away because she endangered my health for nothing and on the top she was not candidate from the beginning. Instead, I played it cool and continued dating her although I knew that I am wrong and I had doubts with regards to her credibility. Nevertheless, I continued having sex with other partners, which was my second mistake because now I became to be the one who puts other people’s life in danger.

Even now, I do not know how I would react had she told me that upfront but for sure I would appreciate her more because of her fairness and openness.

Eventually, after this relationship was over, I went to check my self with a STD specialist and after a hell of a week (waiting, waiting and more waiting) I got my results which turned to be negative. I felt real LUCKY.

In short, it’s better to tell before than tell after the fact or not at all. I am sure that your relationship will be much more better if you will tell it up front. And last, always use protection, there is no point not to and try to have only one partner at the time, it’s only safe and fair for both of you.

Good luck,

Mat

Here is real information on the reality of herpes, for those of you who don't know. If you don't believe me, look it up on the CDC website, or any herpes information website:

1. Herpes cannot be prevented by condom use.

2. About 80-90% (at least) of the adult population in the US has HSV1 - the herpes virus that used to primarily cause oral herpes outbreaks (cold sores). It can be spread to the genital area during sex, even when there are no cold sores present.

3. About 25-30% (at least) of the adult population in the US has HSV2 - the herpes virus that used to primarily cause genital sores. Because of oral sex, many people now have oral HSV2. As with HSV1, it can be spread when no sores or symptoms are present.

4. 90% of people who have either type of herpes don't know it because only about 10% of people who have it actually get blisters and sores.

5. Herpes is not spread by semen or body fluids. It is spread by skin-to-skin contact, with the mucous membranes of the body being the most susceptible to transmission.

6. Herpes testing is not part of standard STD testing. If you do not specifically request, and pay for, a separate herpes test then you will not be tested for it. The same is true of Hepatitis C and HPV. So, most people who believe that they have been tested for STDs have not actually been tested for all of them.

So, realistically, if you are one of the minority who has neither form of herpes, you can get it from kissing just as easily as you can get it from other sexual activity. And, once you have it, you can spread it between oral and genital locations. And, if you happen to be one of the minority who know that you have it, and where you carry it, that doesn't mean that the person sitting across the table from you who thinks that they don't have it is actually right about that.

I am a 42 year old woman who has taken herself out of the dating game for years due to herpes. Now I am thinking about trying my luck now that I am past the age of having children, and I am still scared to death!

I don't feel like I have much to live for....I am sure not expecting to have unprotected sex in order to have a baby, after all, at 42 that would probably be a slim chance of getting pregnant anyway, and I don't want to be a single parent. All I want is to lose some more weight to feel more attractive, (thank God I am at least considered pretty), and then find a nice male companion in his mid to late fifties, who maybe already has some grown and raised children, and just wants to have companionship and safe sex with some willing partner. That is all I want. I just don't want to go thru the rest of my life alone....my parents are both disabled and probably not going to live much longer than another ten years, my sister is married and has her own life, I have a couple of good friends, but not many friends... I can't even count on ever getting a good job again after a stupid shoplifting conviction I had five years ago. I just want a male companion, and that's all. A shoplifting conviction in my past (what a dumb thing to do), and genital herpes. Seems like I have obstacles everywhere I look. I am wondering what kind of life I have to live for. I am just scared to death! Can anyone tell me it's worth it to hang on? From some of the things I have read, I almost feel like why bother?