...he's just plain stoopid. Go find another discussion board to try and impress people in, nitwit. Just alternating your pathetic attempts to place drop (who here gives a fuck about Newport Beach and Scottsdale, frankly? don't you even know how to pre-judge an audience when you're striving for validation, doofus?) with bizarre and illogical insults is not winning anyone over.

As I said, you are occasionally entertaining, though at the end of the day extremely tiresome. Now go and call us all dumbasses and pussies. Didn't see that one coming, did we?

for taking this off topic. I'm done with the discussion anyway.

for taking this off topic. I'm done with the discussion anyway.

You have shown your own silliness.

Whatever - but next time you try to score, I'm sure you won't be able to forget this discussion as much as you are blowing hard here.

The info is out there and I suspect some people have learned a bit from this thread and that's all I care about if you hadn't figured it out.

I'm done too.

that is obvious. That you are both obviously borderline personalities is no surprise. Take your medication. Best wishes with your therapists.

I have had herpes for about 25 years, have had meaningful relationships, gotten married, and given birth to two beautiful healthy children without ever transmitting it to anyone. If I ever suspect that I might be getting an outbreak, which is rare given the medications available nowadays that keep it in remission, I abstain from sex. I am very careful to protect my partner from any possible contact with the virus. Condoms are good, of course, but I wouldn't go ahead and have sex using one if I suspected an outbreak. I don't see how it could be contagious when there isn't an active outbreak, in fact, I think my boyfriend (in college) may have given it to me intentionally.

Anyway, I have had to have the discussion many times, and it does seem to me that people are more hysterical and frightened about it lately. Given the other things out there, and the medications I mentioned before, herpes is more of an inconvenience and social stigma than the frightening disease people seem to think it is.

It's difficult to risk rejection and tell someone something that gives them such unwarranted alarm. But you must, and you have to look at it as a litmus test for the relationship.

it is practical and necessary. If she is dumped the guy is doing the right thing.

I have also found men accepting. I've told straight up, when it seemed like it was going to be something real. A hook-up is not what I'm in to, but could see why someone wouldn't want to take a risk just for casual sex....though, as previous posters pointed out, there's other viruses out there. Yes, HPV has not test for men. So Ben Dover could have it and be passing it on.

I have been reading these letters and I can see many points of view coming through. I don't have Harpies I have HPV and I didn't tell my partner because frankly there is so much stigma attached to STD's I was scared to.. I can hear people saying poo poo to me, and I would assume it's probably those who don't have it.

Today I will tell any potential partners because it was a crappy thing to do to not tell and the guilt ate away at me after I started to think about it.. But I would like to say to all those who yell It's your responsibility to tell, you have to, you got a bad hand and now you have to deal with the consequences, no more fun. That is pretty much the fastest way to get the majority of carriers to simply push it out of their mind and ignore the problem. That's what I did, I actually blocked the problem out of my mind. If your aggressive about something so sensitive and to many embarrassing they will just push it under the rug.. but don't think for one moment they will push sex under there with it.

I think when it comes to men, they really don't want to give up sex, your talking about (in many cases) young guys getting out there, hitting the town, experimenting with sex and different girls. If you tell them, no more sex for you, you have an STD, now you have to wait for the one or find someone who is willing. Most of them will not do it. Many guys are hard pushed to find anyone little lone someone who will accept them with an STD.

The person who gave it to me didn't tell me. I'm not really angry with them either. I think it was wrong not to tell me, as I think it was wrong that I didn't tell but I don't think they are a terrible person. I think its just life.

I think that if you really want to start making an impact you have to hit the schools and colleges, get young people up there who have experience and let them communicate the message because it's all fine to shake your finger at someone, but unless you have some sort of experience people will not take you seriously.

thanks for that, dan. if people are so concerned, get out there and get tested, even though you may think you have nothing. and make sure anyone you sleep with gets tested first. that way you'll see that 1/4 of the population has hsv2 (and probably more has hpv) and yet only 10% of them know it or are out there tellling poeple... the more people realize that it's everyone's problem, the less finger pointing and hiding there'll be, and the more responsibly and calmly we can all deal with this minor affliction (and yes, barring any rare extreme cases, it is rather minor and disproportionally stigmatized). after all, it may be easy to ostracize the 1% who are actually out there telling, but we'd be hardpressed to do that to 25% or more of our population.

(fyi, i don't have herpies but my ex did.)

liv