“Many European countries, including Denmark where I live, are having to deal with the shock of having people with a radically different culture move in, and the result is a push-and-pull between them. When does differentiation become prejudice? When does consideration and tolerance turn into being a doormat? These are not easy questions to answer, and a person isn't racist for choosing to contemplate them at all.”

I think it’s finally time to start getting used to people from radically different cultures. No?

I live in Brooklyn, NYC and we have a huge Muslim community that I’m in contact with all the time. The reason why I’m so angry is because I do know. And what I know is raciest, paranoid behavior just adds to the problem.

The LW needs to make a few Muslim friends. Seriously. She needs to start seeing people from various cultures as individuals and not just brown people with strange ways. The world we live in is getting smaller and smaller and there is no room left of the sort of raciest thinking I’m reading.

Really I’m just disgusted with Salon at the moment. You think you live in this enlightened little bubble and then you start reading this intellectual trash defending racism from the inside. It’s just gross.

Interesting that today the BBC is reporting that Pakistan has just changed its Sharia-based rape laws.

"Until now rape cases were dealt with in Sharia courts. Victims had to have four male witnesses to the crime - if not they faced prosecution for adultery."

"Religious parties boycotted the vote saying the bill encouraged "free sex".

"A woman is raped every two hours and gang-raped every eight hours in Pakistan, according to the country's independent Human Rights Commission."

These are selected paragraphs, the whole article is at:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6148590.stm

This does suggest that persons who originate from countries with Sharia law may fear the law on rape a bit less than citizens of Western nations.

Although the idea that an allegation of rape requires four male witnesses sounds like a very stringent requirement, it should be remembered that in the times when Sharia law was originally put together it was seen as very progressive since it codified penalties and put an end to endless cycles of revenge and retribution. An eye for an eye sounds primitive to us today, but at the time it was a distinct advance on starting a tribal war over the odd eye.

The Pakistani legislature is to be applauded. Even in some Western countries, politicians are reluctant to stand up to religious fundamentalists. Can anyone think of one?

Self defense would serve the letter writer not just as a means of repelling attackers, but also give her a physical outlet for her anxiety and a means of building confidence.

I would recommend studying a martial art rather than taking a self defense class. Teaching your body to move instinctively in close combat takes time; a three to six week class won't cut it. I have a black belt in one art and have trained in others, but if I don't continue my practice, I have noticed my "edge" softens quickly.

You also have to get used to dealing punishment and taking some as well, which is an ongoing process. Thrusting your thumbs into someone's eyes isn't something most people readily accept.

Arts I'd recommend include Russian Martial Art (systema), American Kenpo (find a school with a ground-fighting component), Brazilian Jujitsu (find a school with a stand-up component), Judo, and Krav Maga (though that's more of a starting place).There's plenty of good arts out there, and it's just as important to find a competent instructor you like as a much as your ideal art.

Also, consider carrying a "force multiplier". I've instructed my wife on the use of a Kubotan, which is a small metal stick that attaches to her keychain. Other force multipliers are knives, collapsible batons, etc. Basically, an instrument that focuses force on a smaller surface area to deliver a more painful and incapacitating blow. In a way, you have an advantage by being in country that doesn't permit guns, making it fairly unlikely you'll have to face one and therefore leveling the playing field, a little.

Most importantly, use common sense. Know your surroundings and listen to your inner voice.

Best wishes.

Vox

There are two things that bother me with the responses to my letter. First off, Muslim doesn't equal Arab. Not all Arabs are Muslim, and all Muslims are certainly NOT Arabs. Muslims can come from Egypt, Iran, Afghanistan, Sudan even Malaysia. Not all Muslims speak Arab (for example, the majority don't in either Iran or Iraq). So please stop mentioning Arab in the same breath as Muslim -- especially if you're going to label me as the ignorant one.

Secondly, I do not have panic attacks when walking out by myself. I do not want to buy a gun, and if I did, I would not walk around with my finger constantly on the trigger itching to shoot a Muslim man. Like I said, most Muslim men are civil and polite; it's the young gang bangers that frighten me. The last sentence in my letter to Cary was hyperbole.

Other than that, I would like to thank you all for thoughtful responses. I haven't read them all yet, but I will.

seems to be interested in is the actual chance this woman has of being raped. She says the incidence of rape has increased recently, but from what to what? If there was one rape per million people last year and two this year, that would be a 100% increase, but her chances of being raped would still be vanishingly small. So what we don't know is whether her response is out of proportion to the actual danger. Without that information, no advice can be correct. It may be that what she most needs is counselling to understand and deal with why she is so afraid of Muslim men. Learning self-defense may just exacerbate her fears.