You are right, I did neglect to discuss Muslim women's organizations. It would be interesting to know what Muslim women might say about the reports that are the subject of the column, and about the specific experiences of this particular woman who wrote to me. The letter writer is a woman but not a Muslim. Indeed, fear of rape, not Muslim culture, is the main issue. Still, the opinions of Muslim women about this issue would be interesting to hear.

http://www.library.wisc.edu/libraries/WomensStudies/orgs.htm

http://www.ccmw.com/

http://www.mwlusa.org/publications/positionpapers/violence.html

http://www.mwlusa.org/publications/others/rule_of_the_rapists.htm

http://www.mwlusa.org/presentations/speech_persec.html

http://www.westernresistance.com/blog/archives/002306.html

Now I'd really better go write a column.

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LW, are you kidding? If you are only "terrified" of Muslim men, perhaps you need to come to grips with the fact that you are a racist. Make steps to correct it, maybe get to know some Muslims (oooh!).

before women feel safe. It appears that ANY expression of sexuality by men makes women afraid. If it weren't for online hookups where the women are explicitly looking for sex I wonder if anyone would ever have sex. It's obviously not possible to socially i.e. sexually interact with a woman you don't know (I guess maybe we could go back to the old system of no social interaction without an "introduction", but given how small many people's social circle is I don't know how well that would work).

this does raise the question: how submissive and asexual do men women don't know have to be

before women feel safe. It appears that ANY expression of sexuality by men makes women afraid. If it weren't for online hookups where the women are explicitly looking for sex I wonder if anyone would ever have sex. It's obviously not possible to socially i.e. sexually interact with a woman you don't know (I guess maybe we could go back to the old system of no social interaction without an "introduction", but given how small many people's social circle is I don't know how well that would work).

-- anon

I mean, maybe you write this as a joke; I hope you don't really believe this.

Are you equating striking up conversations with women at Starbucks (perfectly acceptable), over a cigarette outside of the office building (acceptable) to cat-calling and yelling "Swedish whore" at passersby? I mean, is cat-calling and whore-naming the way you pick up women? Because that would explain your self-confessed lack of success. :)

I mean, what "expressions of sexuality" are you advocating for being totally acceptable? Flashing? Groping? Explicit propositioning?

You can't be serious.

Because every time I see one I’m scared of getting robbed or cheated to the point that I can hardly leave my house with my wallet. Robberies are on the rise in my area and the newspapers are full of scary stories. Would a self defense class solve my problem?

Please advise.

LW asks,

"'As the LW herself points out, a Muslim could easily be a white skinned Scandinavian.' Where did I point that out?"

In your first response entitled, "Hey, I'm the letter writer". You said, "There are two things that bother me with the responses to my letter. First off, Muslim doesn't equal Arab. Not all Arabs are Muslim, and all Muslims are certainly NOT Arabs. Muslims can come from Egypt, Iran, Afghanistan, Sudan even Malaysia. Not all Muslims speak Arab (for example, the majority don't in either Iran or Iraq). So please stop mentioning Arab in the same breath as Muslim -- especially if you're going to label me as the ignorant one."

I have to admit, I parsed it the same way Freddie did.

However, to me, it's almost a moot point, because many of the men of Arabic descent I have ever met have treated women as second class citizens -- not only through overtly controlling and abusive behaviors (however mild; it doesn't have to be a smack in the face to be abusive) but also through the equal opposite of overweening and unwanted "concern" over the chastity of their women. To put it another way, they seem to reveal what is in their own minds and hearts by treating their women as though every man were like themselves. To put it yet another way, their women are their chattel. I have not seen this in Arabic Christians at all (I know many) but I have seen it commonly in non-Christian Arabic men.

Whether this means I have a limited worldview and have not met enough Arabs to balance it all out, or whether I am simply racist and in denial, I'm not too certain I care. When I was in Istanbul many years ago, I could not walk alone alone without a male escort: I literally could not go 20 feet in the city without having a proposition yelled at me. It was pretty clear at the time that they did it not because I'm such a looker, but because I was obviously Western (blonde, dressed modestly but in pants) and that meant I was available, a whore. They weren't yelling at their OWN women this way. Whether they were Muslim or not I don't know and don't think it matters: the culture was obviously Muslim even if they personally were not.

That said, I am deeply sympathetic to what you are going through. May I second (or third?) the suggestion that you pick up a copy of Gavin deBecker's Gift of Fear? I have it -- picked it up used online -- and found it very empowering. Yes, definitely get the self-defense class and the kubotan if you like, but read this first. You'll be glad you did. :)

Best wishes to you!

aiyamei, you said:

"...(description of media creation of rape hysteria) So that's the first thing that might explain this girl's paranoia.

Secondly, there's something else going on in Sweden. It's not at all uncommon for certain Arab men to yell "Swede whore" at Swedish women. That's bad, but more problematic is that these men are not prosecuted by the Swedish government. This minority of muslim men is very publicly and unabashedly shouting "whore" at women on the street who are not wearing veils, and it is NOT TREATED LIKE THE HATE CRIME IT IS. Because, supposedly it would not be tolerant of their "culture" to prosecute them.

And who are the victims of this failure to prosecute? Swedish women, sure, in the short term. But in the long run, it's Muslim men who are the victims. ..."

And then 4 long paragraphs about how Muslim men are being victimized by Muslim men. Aiyamei, and anyone who thinks that there's worth in his letter, would you please reconsider your priorities.

Muslim men are not being victimized by Muslim men. Any effects on the average Muslim man that are caused by the misogynists are ancillary effects. The victims here are the women. Do you think you could find it in you to riff for 4 long paragraphs on that injustice?

Do you think you could possibly intellectualize for a bit about injustice without characterizing coverage of rape as tabloid journalism?

Thank you so very much. Women the world over will appreciate your concern. Intellectually rigorous armchair philosophers will likewise appreciate your renunciation of muddied thinking and your cessation of conflation of the primary effects of directed actions with those actions' ancillary and unsought outcomes.