"There are two things that bother me with the responses to my letter. First off, Muslim doesn't equal Arab. Not all Arabs are Muslim, and all Muslims are certainly NOT Arabs. Muslims can come from Egypt, Iran, Afghanistan, Sudan even Malaysia. Not all Muslims speak Arab (for example, the majority don't in either Iran or Iraq). So please stop mentioning Arab in the same breath as Muslim -- especially if you're going to label me as the ignorant one."

OK, so it's just the Muslim men you're afraid of? How do you know they're Muslim?

And while it may be the case that not all Muslims speak "Arab", Arabic does act as a lingua franca in Islamic regions of the world, both because of religion and the entertainment industry. If you're concerned about language issues and can't make yourself understood in English or Swedish (or whatever), Arabic makes sense as a third option.

I can speak with thorough experience on this topic of Muslim integration into Western culture...and my answer to my Muslim-American friends is this: get over it!

Yeah, sure, this is not the typical "liberal" response to cultural understanding and awareness, but these complaining Muslim men (it's never the women, I've noticed) need to just deal with it...They come from a culture that generally disparages equality among the sexes, and since we come from a culture that (in theory at least) strives for equality for ALL races and genders, there's going to be an inevitable clash. And if they can't respect that aspect of our culture, then they need to know that they are not welcome and either need to grow up and get used to it or move out.

I personally know this because I have a brother-in-law that has become increasingly militant since 9/11, despite the fact that he got his education here and has built a life of his own in our wonderful and open democratic nation. Yet now, he disdains the very things that make this country great, just because we have a boob as a President. He has a right to be mad at our government and speak his mind, but get over it, for Christ's or Allah's sake...I don't like the fact that this U.S. govt. doesn't seem to care about black people in this country, but that doesn't mean I advocate attacking my own country because of it.

And worse still, he acts like this resentment and hatred started overnight for "his people" after 9/11 in this country. Well, welcome to the real world, where racism is still alive and will always be, in some form, a part of human existence. American is isn't perfect, but at least you have a shot at being somebody and having a life of your own, and speaking your mind. But don't come over here, dig my earth, drink my wine, and then tell our women how to dress, or call them "whores" on the street. Them Swedes need to grow some balls and confront these Muslim hecklers every time they hear that said on the street. Do you think ANYBODY could get away with that in this country, without starting a fight? Cultural awareness is one thing...plain rude behavior is another.

The letter writer forwarded by e-mail to me these links to major press reports. These three, as she noted, are all in Norwegian, which I don't read.

http://www.aftenposten.no/nyheter/iriks/article1393911.ece

http://www.aftenposten.no/nyheter/iriks/article1468536.ece

http://www.nrk.no/nyheter/distrikt/ostlandssendingen/1.1126465

I also find English-language reports here (I think these are just translations):

http://www.aftenposten.no/english/local/article1394245.ece

Note that the police sketch in this one looks like some dude from Cleveland.

And here, on spike in sales of pepper spray (or "defense spray"):

http://www.aftenposten.no/english/local/article1402683.ece

good letters, incidentally -- the best, not surprisingly, seem to come from those with direct personal experience. Given the twin topics of rape and racism, the discourse is relatively civil, actually, which I appreciate -- sensitive soul that I am.

I'm finding the discussion of racism here to be way more civil than many of the discussions that go on. I am interested in all the points of view being expressed and want to thank everyone for pretty much expressing themselves without all the customary ugly personal crap that happens here so much.

For the LW;

The best practical advice you've received is to take a self defense class. Great advice. I'd take one in conjunction with starting counseling. Also excellent advice. Read the book everyone is recommending. Those who are telling you to are right on. Make friends with Muslims - excellent advice too!!

Meta-discussions of racism aside, you sound like a very young, inexperienced girl. You SHOULD be wary of being in situations alone at night in any city anywhere. This is a healthy normal response to putting yourself in danger. I would be furious with my 20 yr old daughter if I found out that she was walking alone at night in a city! Just livid with her. You need to develop a buddy system at night anyway. I'm 47 and would never ever walk alone at night in a city. I'm petite and I really like being physically and emotionally intact so I don't throw myself into useless and obvious danger. There's bad people out there of every color and type and why should I become a victim for no good reason? God knows shit happens without my cooperation and help!!

Get help with the part of you that is so anxious and irrational and is focusing on just this one sort of potential threat. You may be shivering in your timbers every time you think of being attacked by a Muslim and walk right by a dark alley with a white or black or Asian or Australian or Norwegian or big scary cranked up lesbian or _____(fill in the blank) rapist in it. You get the picture even though I waxed silly. You need help with the part of you that is experiencing a level of anxiety that is wrecking your well-being, and causing you to fixate on Muslim men. It's too bad that you've been harassed by a few. Just wait 10 or 15 years when you have all kinds of harassments under your belt and you'll see it's not just Muslim men who feel like they have the right to invade your personal space. Try bosses and doctors and priests and grandpas and repair men and random strangers and husbands and boyfriends and the list goes on. I'm NOT saying that all men are rapists or anything like that nor am I saying I've personally been harassed by every man I know or most men nor will you be either. I mean that over the years you will meet lots of women who've been harassed and way worse by all kinds of men. Of every color, and religious persuasion.

It's like having a terror of mail boxes and walking way out into a busy street to avoid one never looking up or noticing the actual and real danger of the fast moving cars which will kill you!

This fixation on Muslim men is a convenient and simplistic handle for your anxiety and fear. Get help for the fear. Learn and know from whence your anxiety has developed. Practice taking care of yourself - your physical well being - by learning how to defend yourself and by behaving rationally in dangerous situations.

Get used to the fact that life is inherently dangerous that there is nothing that we can do ever ever ever to protect ourselves from fate and random chance. That's way different than making yourself an easy and readily available target for predators and danger by being naive and fearful and anxious. There is a wonderful expression: "trust in God but tether your camel". In this case, God may or may not have a safe and easy life in store for you, but you certainly can do your part to take care of the camel! (psst, the camel is your well being)