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Sunday, Nov 8, 2009
I also recommend reading The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker--he heads a security company, and writes on the utility of fear as an indicator for personal safety. That is, you already have an excellent, well-tuned ability to detect danger. It's that little voice inside your head that tells you when something's up; it's been honed by millions of years of running away from saber-toothed tigers and the like.
The problem is that most of the time, we walk around worrying about all the wrong stuff--Muslims, flesh-eating bacteria, the Rapture, take your pick--that we don't listen to that little voice. We wind up dismissing quite reasonable fears (the seedy guy on the elevator looks dangerous, those kids down the street are frightening) and sometimes wind up as victims as a result.
So you should definetly learn to defend yourself. You should also figure out how to stop fearing Muslim immigrants, because that kind of fear will blind you when your brain is actually trying to tell you something.
Disclosure: I do not receive any remuneration for recommending de Becker's book. It's really good!
Although I do not know the exact statistic for rapes in Scandinavia, I do know that the vast majority of rapes in the US are not stranger rapes (the type she appears to fear most) but rapes committed by those one knows--acquaintances, dates, friend of a friend, etc. In the US, that's 89% in fact. The numbers may be different in Scandinavia, but probably not such a vast margin as to make my point--that the dissemination of fear-tactics against women by the media and by mis-leading self-defense course curriculum are in fact weapons used against women in and of themselves to spread fear and further silence the real epidemics of rape, domestic violence, and the sexual assault world-wide. By always pushing rape to the margins, to a woman walking alone at night, instead of focusing the light on the real epidemic of rape culture in patriarchy, we further alienate and re-victimize women/children whose stories are not being told (and others who might be tomorrow's victim). In this forum, let's talk about the real epidemic and how men and women can work together to expose the roots of sexual violence and work toward its end.
Peace
If there are any attackers, they will be in front of your bush, not behind it.
Remember the "youth riots" in France last year?
Remember when "youths" set a bus on fire a few weeks ago for no reason, horribly burning a woman?
"Youth" is often code these days for "angry young male Muslim" and mentioning this in a newspaper article will be strenuously avoided until the last sentence (if it is included at all). This woman has the correct impression. There is a reason feminists and leftists are not outraged over these kinds of things, and that's because it was their multi-cultural tolerance lovefest that caused this travesty. How? By allowing millions of intolerant, misogynist Muslims into their liberal societies. These people think raping a non-Muslim is morally fine, you expect them to integrate? Ha! Talk about wolves among sheep . . .
I am sick to death of feminists saying that most rapes are by people the woman knows, like family members or dates --- it may be technically true, but that fact should not be used to make women LESS VIGILANT of stranger rape! Stranger rape is not a figment of the evil patriarchal journalism industry, it is a hideous reality for women that they should be aware of.
Unfortunately for this poor woman, she lives in a country that severely restricts her right to bear arms for self-defense. Pepper spray and all the martial arts lessons in the world will not give the same degree of protection as a firearm (if she is well-trained in using it AND has martial arts training to boot). Anti-gun legislation hurts women the most, because women are not as physically strong as men and are the only ones at risk for rape!
My advice to the young woman is to get the best martial arts training you can (Krav Maga is pretty good for that kind of thing) and carry a small pistol illegally.
Wouldn't you rather be judged by [however many people there are on a jury in Scandinavia] than carried by six?
---- Hans
What are you on, Cary Tennis? A woman who admits to having less than ten uncomfortable experiences-- no physical incidents, mind you-- and you advise this women to deepen her phobia and continue to act in a manner that has no correlation to the actual events of her life. And you are validating a terrible racial prejudice that she admits has no logic basis!
You, sir, are taking part in the most bigoted and toxic fear mongering possible. You pretend to counsel her against making generalizations against immigrants, but your response only serves to further stigmatize a race of people who have been subject to unending suspicion, discrimination and ridicule for the last five years. You've enabled an act of racism; and you're only relying on your liberal priviledge to protect your sense of self-righteousness. (I write for Salon! I can't be a bigot!)
But beyond that issue, you are contributing to a culture of constant panic and hysteria that feeds our worst instincts. You've added your voice to the constant shriek that comes from our media to be scared, scared of crime, scared of immigrants, worst bogeymen of all, Arab men. And you pretend to do it from a place of righteousness, as someone hoping to protect women from rape. But feeding an irrational will do nothing to make this woman safer, and everything to drive her deeper into a paralyzing sense of danger. You've joined FOX News in your efforts to persuade people to jump at every shadow.
Both you and she fail to back up your accusations with a shred of statistical evidence, with any actual science to back up the claim that Scandinavia has become a hive of raping Muslims. Someone here recommended she read the book The Gift of Fear. I've got a different suggestion. Read The Culture of Fear by Barry Glasner and perhaps she'll come to understand why she is so terrified of ghosts, and how damaging that irrational fear is to her life.
I've been readind Salon since its beginnings and I've seen a lot to disagree with. And I've read a lot of inane and insipid commentary from Cary Tennis. But this is the worst, the worst thing ever published in Salon. It's a disgrace. Someday, this women will meet a decent Arab man, and her prejudice will cause her to treat him in a way he doesn't deserve. And you'll have justified that impulse. Maybe it's time you stopped giving advice.
Much of the initial coverage about Fort Hood turned out to be wrong. Is there anything wrong with that?
The accountability imposed by another country for the CIA's kidnapping and torture reveals much about our own.
Fox News' morning show plays to type, talking about whether Muslims in the Army should face "special debriefings"
The survivor and author is upset about comparisons some on the right are making to genocide
219 Democrats and one Republican join in favor of the legislation, which passed by a narrow margin
Salon headlines in your mailbox
