Letters to the Editor
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I'm 40 and pregnant. Do NOT do this without the husband
The first trimester is exhausting, far more so than when one is in the thirties. The odds of life threatening complications like ectopic pregnancy go way up. Stomache pain, nausea, etc, all are accelerated. My husband wanted this, too, and he's picking up the slack. But things don't get done, or must be changed. It's harder for me to travel, to do a whole host of activities. And I'm having a good pregnancy for a 40 year old. Mood swings can be regulated, but it takes more effort.
The second trimester will find you buying maternity clothes (you probably gave the first away), with backaches, headaches, things you didn't have in your thirties. You show faster. There are a host of invasive tests to consider. Will abort an imperfect child? Not all tests will show?
Your children are the most important thing here. You have three. What will happen tot he Mommy Taxi? The attention? In the middle of the night, will you have the energy to attend to them. I have one, and I have to work past my energy level to give him adequate attention and also do my job. The result: Braxton Hicks contactions.
DO NOT DO THIS> It is selfish. Your children here need your energy. You will need your husband, and he will rightfully be mad about the imposition he never signed on for. If you die from preclampsia or something like it (and your risk is higher- consult a newer version of What to Expect When You are Expecting and look at Chapter 20. p. 491. Rread the WHOLE chapter. Think of going through it alone, and putting your children through this for a child who will not be their sibling. Think about the pain you can inflict on your children, LW.
Cary's right in that you sound like you are going to do it anyway. Think like a mother. Put yourself away, and think of your kids. DOn't do this without your husband's support.