Letters to the Editor
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When you married your husband he became your family
You must put his feelings ahead of your sisters need for a child, and your desire to be a surrogate birth mother to this child.
It's simple - you have a familiy. Your husband, your children. You must put them first. If your husband is dead set against it, it is not your right to simply ignore him and go do something because you feel compelled. You put your own personal and emotional welfare at risk, and by going against his stated wishes, you put his emotional welfare at risk too. Also - you put your own famlly at risk, given the very real possible complications of pregnancy and childbirth. You could have an ectopic pregnancy; the baby could pass the amnio tests and then display profound issues at birth or even a year beyond. Now you are tied to these problems - financially, emotionally, and psychologically - for the rest of your life, in ways that are much different than if your sister were the birth mother of a compromised niece or nephew. While you may be willing to make this kind of sacrifice for your sister, it is unfair for you to unilaterally demand your family be willing to make this potential sacrifice as well.
Your only recourse is to convince your husband otherwise. Go to a couples therapist if you must. Talk it through. But your decision in this must be joint, so don't go if you're not willing to lose - you have to be willing to accept that, if you can't convince him, then you have no choice but to try to understand his 'side' and desist from your compulsion.
BTW - a compulsion is rarely a good thing. Maybe you simply chose improper terminology by which to describe your feelings on the subject. But if compulsion was indeed a considered choice - well, the point of identifying our compulsions is to devise ways of not acting on them. Perhaps you need to explore/understand the roots of this compulsion better; if you do so, your husband may soften his stance, seeing that you are acting on the solid ground of reasoning and understanding. Alternatiavely, you may find yourself agreeing with him, that this isn't such a good idea after all.
Leave your sister's needs out of this discussion. If you do decide to offer to be a surrogate, she is simply the recipient of a gift. If you decide against it, nothing has been taken away from her.