Letters to the Editor
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make this decision alone and the marriage is most likely over
This is so much more complicated then a 9 month pregnancy. If it were just the mood swings and sickness with a light at the end of that 9 month window I’d say go for it. But there is no guarantee this is going to work inside of just 9 months – it could take a long time for the LW to get pregnant and even then it might end in miscarriage and then second and third tries and maybe multiple eggs (I’ve no idea what kind of medical procedures and whose eggs we’re talking about but this could be a BIG deal).
I also have every confidence that this is going to get super complicated even past the birth. Maybe I’m prone to becoming a little more attached then other people but going through a pregnancy (especially as an older mom), separating from my husband and then having to give up the child I’ve been carrying while taking care of three other children would put me over the emotional edge. I just don’t have that much in me and there is no shame in that when my sister could adopt.
BTW – I would freak the fuck out if my husband donated his sperm to his brother’s wife. I would always see the resulting child as my husband’s (and mine). The idea of him donating his sperm seriously fills me with a sense of terror. What if my brother-in-law died and his wife remarried a nut job and I never say my husband’s child again and I never knew if he was safe and taken care of. This would go way past ‘upset.’ This would be about my emotional inability to give my husband’s child away. If my husband couldn’t respect that over his brother’s need for a genetic child you bet I’d leave him.