Letters to the Editor
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Please Don't
I just wanted to add my voice to the chorus - please don't do this. At 40 a pregnancy is harder on your body than you might think. On top of that it's very possible it'll be a multiple birth. Recovery will be long and painful, you'll be out of comission for a long time and unable to fully be the wife/mom in your own family, and you will feel the physical repercussions for years.
On top of all that, your husband, the man you decided to make your life partner, has clearly told you he doesn't want to play the role you would need him to play in this situation. He flat out doesn't want to. Everyone who says that this will be a body-blow to your marriage is right. The damage would be severe.
Your heart is in the right place, but your brain is having a blip in this situation, probably because family relationships are full of Freudian madness. Please don't do this. I think it will be bad for you.