Letters to the Editor
-
Reactions
Several posters are saying that they "understand" reasons of the husband. I know 1 year is a long time to devote to getting someone else a child, but I really cannot see why he would be so totally against this.
Because its not just a year. Some examples:
What if she ends up with such a bond to the child after its born that she wants to keep it? It happens, you know.
How about health problems - there's a small but non-zero chance that this will injure or even kill her. Most women that I know (including my lovely wife) get concerned when men talk about sky diving or motorcycles. Some husbands get concerned when their wives talk about these things, too. Having a baby is far from automatically safe.
What happens if her sister gets hit by a bus in the next nine months? Or even in five years - will the wife want to take the child back (legally possible in some states I understand) rather than have it raised by her sister's husband alone?
Is it possible that this "enormous" gift will destroy the balance of his wife's family, something that may be more apparent to the husband as an outsider?
Is money tight? Not to the point that they couldn't do this, but is it
As others have said, how would their current children feel about this, not just during the pregnancy (although that's very important), but afterwards? Would they resent their mother being unavailable for nine months? Especially if they didn't, might they resent what they saw as their brother or sister being taken away from them by their aunt and uncle?
Some summaries for thought.