Letters to the Editor
-
Your Choice
I was very fortunate to be given an opportunity to choose to do this for my sister as well. However, my husband was supportive of it. He appreciated the risk and the inconvenience, but he has always considered my body to be my own. My sister and her husband agreed to pay for extra groceries, medical care and vitamins for the duration of the pregnancy. Really, as I explained it to my children, the whole situation is just glorified babysitting. That oversimplifies, of course -- there is considerable physical discomfort and risk -- but it is not your egg, not your husband's sperm, and you are just keeping their own child safe for them until they can take it.
I was thrilled that my sister and her husband would honour me with this request. I was even happier for them when, against all the medical odds, she found she was pregnant a month after she'd asked me to consider surrogacy. If my participation in bringing that happiness into their lives had consisted of carrying and delivering the baby, it would have been more than worth any disapproval from my husband. When someone else's reasons for disallowing something are simply selfish, I could not in good conscience allow that to make up my mind for me. Especially now that that baby is three and thinks he's the best uncle in the world.