Letters to the Editor
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In Sickness and In Health
Here's how I see it:
the letter-writer's obligation is first to her children, herself, and her husband, because presumably, if they used traditional marriage vows, he vowed to support her in sickness and in health. It is her obligation to live up to those vows by caring for the family they have. And caring for herself so that she does not unnecessarily take on a potential cause of illness, especially given that he objects to it.
I would agree with this "it's her body" argument only if she were in an uncomitted relationship. Being married limits her choices. As it also limits her husband's choices.
I think the letter writer's obligation is to avoid what her husband considers self-destructive behavior. This is more important than her obligation to her sister, if such exists.
It would be different if the husband truly were being unreasonable, but he's not. The pregnancy, if one occurs, will be risky and could potentially result in illness. As others have said, I'm not convinced the letter-writer wants to sacrifice herself; she dreads being sick.
So in this case, if it's an obligation to another person that will convince her what to do, than the most important obligation I see to another adult is to her husband. Because it is not just to abuse the marriage vows by deliberately engaging in potentially harmful behavior over his strong objections.
I'd feel the same way if he proposed engaging in a risky behavior over her strong objections.
My personal background is that I've been married for 10 years and my husband and I both have significant illnesses, mine worse than his, and I have to be very careful to manage things as well as I can so that I don't cause undue stress for him. My problems are a source of stress for him anyway just by their existence. The way I handle them (by staying on top of things, or letting things slide) affects his well-being and happiness. It's hard to see him become stressed and unhappy when I have an episode of illness which requires hospitalization or other intensive treatment, which has happened a number of times since we've been married. So it's important to try to be as healthy as possible.
he has also been hospitalized and has been on long-term treatment and that was difficult as well.
I would really caution the letter-writer to think hard about this.