pretty much any post by me would add a lot of value.

Also, if you want to sell this thing, include as many letters about female pubic grooming as you have received.

In fact, make that the theme of the book and say so in your book's title.

I vividly recall two reponses (or at least the parts thereof) one of which I've even kept on my PC to refer back to.

Excerpting from 4-21-05 on Fires (which really was about fixing family issues)"If we do not possess the skills necessary to rush into a burning house and rescue the people, we're probably best off not attempting it . . . Nevertheless, [if] you find yourself taking an unplanned journey into the family hellhole, you ought to prepare for it with rigorous self-examination. "

and (what I consider a true classic but darned if I can find it)where you wrote about a relationship being like a sweater. It was old and faded and torn, but you loved it for how it changed. That's how I remember it anyway.

And yes - the lost wedding ring, yesterday's column and the dirty talk were also classics worth bookizing.

Ian

Please include the letter (and especially the reader responses)to an entry that showed up in late August I think from the introverted person who just wanted to be accepted as she was. That letter generated some really excellent discussion!

Excellent idea to publish, Cary & good luck!

Yep, 3 great ideas I hope to include: Meta comments -- perhaps a short essay; followups, including, I hope, checking in with the charming woman who didn't know where her boyfriend lived (remember her? I got the story, but could get an update); and, yes, this did occur to me, too: Worst letter, worst column (thanks, I appreciate it, but you don't need to spend too much time on that!)

I agree with the poster who suggested yesterday's column. That one's a keeper. :-)

I think what would make the book an absolute must-have for all the readers who love this column... how about trying to contact the people whose letters will be included, to include an update on their situation? That way it includes some fresh material. Great idea! I am going to comb through the archives now. :-)

Where a woman was seeing a man that lived in a seperate city and he refused to let her see where he lived and she wondered what she should do.

Also a follow up on the guy who did the long distance thing with his college sweetheart and wants her back but she's dating someone else.

Although I can browse the columns one by one, I haven't been able to get any Since You Asked column to come up using the Salon Search tool. This is making it hard to find old favorites. I have gone so far as to take text from columns and paste it into the search box, but nothing.

I agree that yesterday's was a keeper.

The fairly early one about from a girlfriend being asked to be in a threesome was memorable. Something about 'an angel gets its wings in heaven'.

There was one with a fantastic description of the mind of an alcholic that MUST go in this.

The talk dirty one was great too.

...like all the rest of them.

Really, I'd love to see the one from the guy who fancied himself in love with a prostitute - I do love seeing our normally mild-mannered, dreamy, poetic Cary in a righteous rage!

Publish the one about the woman whose BF/husband won't talk dirty to her.... and Cary did instead! Loved it.

two columns stand out in my mind:

1. the one in which the woman lost her engagement ring in a lake or river and you suggested that the couple return to the spot each year to go fishing (hoping to find the ring in belly of the fish they catch). 'twas a beautiful response.

2. your advice to the writer battling writer's block. you said to go curl up on the couch for a while, be quiet and still. maybe you didn't say quiet and still, but that was what i took from it. there often seem to be two components to your letters - the advice and the spirit of the advice (the advice-ness) and, while the advice may only speak to the letter writer specifically, its spirit speaks to everyone. anyway, the letter to the person with writer's block was terrific and helped this writer greatly.

thanks for taking your position so seriously. you do a hell of a job.

I loved the letter (and responses) to the young woman who wanted to know why her

friends wouldn't just shut up and let her die (and maybe you could include the entire letter if space would permit). A follow up on how she is doing would also be welcome.

I also recall a letter from a woman whose husband was a professor, with (what she perceived to be) snooty, intellectual friends, and she was convinced that he was going to cheat on her with one of his graduate students.

Also, your response to yesterday's letter writer was really quite wonderful.

...the one who had left them for a jerk, and messed up their lives, and was devastated with guilt about it.

Are you going to include any of the Letters? Sometimes, no offense, they've outshone you on a given day.

I'd really try to vary your own responses that you select, and don't let too many of them be the swoozy, furrowed-brow-while-I-free-associate ones. When you think more clearly and narrate with more discipline I find your replies more effective.

The imaginative empathy isn't a bad approach, and sometimes your wandering transports do take you to a line that nails the heart of something, but it's inconsistent. (Maybe with detachment you'll see which times it's worked, and which times you're just indulging.)

Great idea to do a book, Cary. Hope they fly.

1. The book absolutely needs readers' letters too.

2. Include a few columns where you screwed up with some lousy advice (not hard to find), and much better advice was forthcoming from readers

3. Some meta-comments would be great - about the Big Themes from advice seekers (I screwed up my life 20 years ago/my parent hates me/my best friend eloped with my husband/etc)

4. Some meta comments about giving advice.

You definitely need more material than just original letter + your reply.