Letters to the Editor
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Furious with mother
J. writes: "I've come to recognize her fearfulness, her neediness, and how I crippled myself to try to keep her safe."
It seems to me that when "J" was young, saving mom was like saving herself because losing mom would have been more unpleasant than any effort on J's part to help mom. Understanding that J was helping her own safety net may help difuse the anger.
But I would suggest that J express her anger in a journal or series of letters (not for delivery) to mom. After a few days, re-read the letter and write a new one that fixes any statements that need fixing. Repeat the exercise until J has a good understanding of what the anger is about.