Letters to the Editor
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I have a hard time feeling sorry for this girl...
I would feel sorry for her if she weren't so smug about her life. "I'm so stunning, I could stop traffic!" Blech. Pardon me while I push her in front of a car in my mind...
I've been depressed. I'm on meds. Any good socialite knows that when you feel blue, you go get help (Lord knows, socialites are big on the meds). LW is just a narcissist who wants to be noticed and fawned over. And Carey is yet another person who will spend time trying to help her, which is exactly what she wants: attention.
Go to a therapist and get off your high horse, LW!
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Book recommendation, depression
First of all I'm really impressed that Cary and most posters didn't jump down her throat for what at first read sounded like a rather narcissistic letter.
Second of all I wanted to share a book that has helped me. It may not be for everyone. It is called "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle; it is a spiritual book without being religious, and helps you realize (or remember) what is important in this life.
I have been fighting depression for, I don't know how long, I guess my entire adult life. I find that if I read a few pages of this book a night I feel much better. Also, exercise -- great mood booster. I think maybe so many people these days are depressed becuase we just don't get enough exercise.
Prozac (and other antidepressants) are great if you need them, but don't just jump to that conclusion. You may not want to take them your whole life and they're not so easy to kick. Try therapy and living well first. Depression is often a sign that we need to investigate our life, and prozac can short-circuit that investigation.
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how to go on when everyone you love dies anyway
I agree -- sounds like fairly standard clinical depression, probably brought on by grief, with symptoms like shutting down emotionally, acute irritability, difficulty staying focused, lack of pleasure sexually and otherwise, withdrawing from intimacy and close relationships.
In particular, the comment "In fact, sometimes the people I love most seem so flawed I wish I could erase them from my life, like on a whiteboard, and start again" stood out for me, as resonating with the themes of death and regeneration.
I'd recommend a shrink specialized in grief counseling, along with regular physical exercise.
Let's not underestimate the devastating impact of losing a life-long, beloved pet -- especially one that was given to the letter writer by her father before he died. Beautiful mentions dealing with her father's death in therapy, but this is another loss altogether. Losing a pet is not like losing a shoe or a toy. Every animal has its own personality and is irreplaceable, just like a person. It can be very hard to let go, doubly so if it's linked to the most significant loss of your life.
Money seems like a non-issue here, aside from the fact that it makes the letter writer believe she's unentitled to feeling bereft and angry. She's working, has good relationships, and seems to be level-headed about what's important and meaningful in life. She can do anything she wants, and seemingly is, but for the fact that she's "listless." Once the fog lifts, she'll be better able to make decisions about how to go on and what to do next.
Smoking probably isn't helping matters either. It will make you feel sluggish and tired.
I'm sorry for Beautiful's losses and wish her all the best.
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go climb a mountain...
Preferably a pretty big one -- say Rainier -- requiring months of intense physical training followed by several days in harsh conditions on a roped team in which your very life depends on the skill and psychological fortitude of you and your climbing companions.
Of course you're bored and depressed, since our culture's traditional challenges have already been met for you. So go set yourself some larger ones, which you certainly can afford. Then, once you've achieved something like standing on top of a glorious peak, you'll know the satisfaction that comes with hard work and completion, which is what some of us less fortunate slobs do to make life not just bearable but thrilling.
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testimony
Hiking and climbing do work. So does cycling. Together, even better.
Look into Backroads or Outward Bound and take a work out vacation.
You'll meet new people, too, and get some different perspectives.
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Rainier?
Wow, mountain climbing is perhaps the dumbest thing ever. Let's risk our lives and then write crappy books about it when we lose eight toes and an ear to frostbite, shall we? How about something meaningful that amounts to more than an expensive and self-indulgent trip to Rainier.
Pick a charity, young lady, and stick with it. Or make getting in shape your focus for a while. Take your mind off what's wrong and start thinking about how to fix it. (BTW, the low libido will certainly be boosted when you're feeling better about your body.)
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gap in advice...
I see the problem this way: it's all about her. Her job, her boyfriend, her friends, her looks. This person needs to get outside herself in a major way. Though it sounds cliche, how about sharing the blessings and looking around you for a way to help those with less? Find some marriage of your interests and talents and just jump in there. You need to care more for the world outside yourself, because it's too easy to collapse into it if you make your life too insular. That's the root of your unhappiness, your life is unbalanced....
Good luck to you!
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Hormones
Whoever said that this sounds like real depression is right. However, before LW heads into years of therapy and "meds" trying to adjust her attitude, I would ask her whether she's on the pill. For me, after 31 years of a perpetually upbeat attitude in the face of heartbreak, extreme work pressure, and even the death of my beloved mother, it was simple hormones that brought me closest to the brink of clinical depression. Just a thought - maybe she should go off the pill for a few months if she's taking it.
Otherwise, of course everyone's advice about helping others, looking outside herself, adjusting priorities and seeing a therapist is great.